10 "Must Do" Game Strategies to Insure Softball Success

Today I want to share some critically important game strategies your athlete and team must employ to play their best on game day.

As we all know fastpitch softball is a difficult game. It is often a roller coaster ride of emotions yielding successes and failures happening in rapid succession. Two steps forward and one step back is often the road to softball mastery.

However, the smarter your athlete and team can play the shorter will be their learning curve, and the more consistently they will play to their potential. I'm a big fan of stacking the odds in my players' favor!

Here are the 10 "must do" game strategies to insure softball success:  

For Pitchers:

1. There are 3 critical keys to increasing the odds of success each time a pitcher is in the circle: throw your best pitch (which is always strike one), always strive to get the first out of every inning (as hitters who lead off an inning reaching base score about 65% of the time), and pitch from ahead (work hard to get the count in your favor so the hitter must hit a "pitcher's pitch" instead of a "hitter's pitch."

2. Learn how to "set up" batters. Work both sides of the plate (east-west) with curves and screws as well as up and down (north-south) with rises and drops. So you might throw in, in, away, away, away, then slip the inside fastball or drop by the hitter. Or you may pound the ball in with a screw twice, go way out with a curve, come back with a screw or inside rise, then back out with the curve for strike three! Notice the batter's feet. Does she start moving away from the plate after a few inside pitches? Does she crowd the plate after a few outside pitches? Find the hitter's weakness, work the count to your favor (even allow a few foul ball swings), then drop the hammer with your best pitch in whichever location the hitter is weakest!

3. Pitch "to contact" to certain batters and in certain game situations (it saves time and pitches). This is a really important strategy. Many coaches try to get too fine in calling the corners for all hitters. In reality batters in the 1, 2, 7, 8, 9, 10 spots aren't usually going to beat you (yes, there are exceptions), so why not throw more "hittable" pitches early in the count to induce a grounder or pop up (in other words...let those hitters get themselves out)? Also, if you are leading 5-0 in the last inning why nit-pick on the corners? Go after the hitters. There is little more frustrating than walking hitters with a big lead. Trust your stuff and know when to challenge the hitter.

 
For Hitters:

1. Have a plan each at bat. Know what your primary and secondary job is while on deck. Be prepared and laser focus in on doing your job well. Get excited about laying down a great sac bunt or moving the runner(s) over!

2. Guess location on the first pitch (in or away). The great Ted Williams hit this way. Give yourself an edge; particularly if you have noticed (by paying attention!) where the pitcher or coach likes to call the first pitch. If you guess wrong, worst case, you are 0-1. If you guess right it could be a laser shot over the fence!

3. Pay attention to the umpire's strike zone and coach's pitch sequence. If the ump is calling a very wide strike zone don't be surprised. Make an adjustment to move on or off the plate. Be willing to adjust your swing to foul off a borderline pitch in order to crush your pitch! If the coach or catcher is consistently calling a change on every 0-2 pitch...LOOK FOR IT.

4. Stop thinking once you are in the batter's box. See it and hit it. You need to focus all your attention in the present moment and trust yourself! Coaches or parents who incessantly chirp at a batter with "advice" while she is in the box invariably HURT the batter. The time for working on mechanics is during practice, not while in the box. The time to work on strategy is while on deck or during a timeout, not while in the box. All a hitter needs to think about in the box is a simple mantra (positive trigger statement) she can say inside her head over and over (like "I've got this."). The mind can only focus on a single thought at a time, so why not choose the thought in advance and make it a positive one!

For Base Runners:

1. Be aggressive. You can't win if you don't score, so on the bases always be looking for any way to advance 60 feet! Learn how to get great leads. Know the strength of each outfielder's arm; know the defense's weakness. Always push the defense to make mistakes. Be fearless on the bases!

For Defenders:

1. Anticipate and expect the ball being hit to you each pitch and know your 1st, 2nd and 3rd options (always know the outs and where the runners are). Know how fast every runner is and "sense" how much time you have to make a play. Give maximum focus for 3 seconds prior to each pitch. Get dirty...ALWAYS (110% effort); Be a difference maker on defense!

For Catchers:

1. Talk to the umpire. Try to find out his/her strike zone early in the game. Test the limits of the strike zone with where you set up your glove. Frame the pitch first before you pop up to look a runner back or make a back pick throw (don't lose the strike!). Be a leader on the field by being vocal. Take charge! Support your pitcher verbally all game, every pitch. Give a good target to your pitcher...It helps!

Now many of these strategies may sound like common sense to you. However, I can tell you as a game coach that far, far too few players ever think or act as these strategies suggest on a consistent basis. That's just fact!

I guarantee you if your athlete/team focuses on implementing these 10 strategies they will instantly become better players/teams and experience a lot more joy while playing the game!

Another great way to skyrocket game performance is by building a rock solid foundation of self-confidence for your athlete or team. My Sports Confidence Blueprint program will help your athlete to build that foundation! It contains over 6 audio hours of easy to understand and easy to implement concepts and strategies, plus the Sports Confidence Blueprint Manual! Get more info here.

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400 Pitches and Still Kickin'

Most every day I share thoughts on this blog about the various mental skills your athlete needs to develop and master to become a consistent peak performer. However, today I want to talk about another very important element in your athlete's development and her success...her coaches.

At last night's practice we had 30 or so girls there, as my travel organization routinely has multiple teams practicing together, and focused the evening on hitting with six separate hitting stations plus live, situational hitting on the diamond. I was at the whiffle ball station throwing each player 12-15 pitches while fighting off the pesky fall mosquitoes. Over the next couple of hours I must have thrown about 400 pitches and, yes...I am a little sore this morning as a result!

And just so you're all clear...I am paid the grand sum of nothing for doing this. Yes I, like so many thousands of dedicated men and women across the country, volunteer my time to coach because I enjoy teaching and helping these young ladies learn the game I love.  I also have no daughter playing on the team.

He was just pointing out the snack bar.

As parents it is easy to sit back and judge or criticize the job coaches do. Certainly some coaches have more experience and more knowledge of the game than others, and yes, some coaches may appear to favor their own daughters a tad. However, without the countless hours that these coaches put into the game and your athlete there would be no games and no softball.

And for the record, coaching is not easy...particularly at a travel level when parents are paying a decent sum of money each month for their daughter's participation. Like I used to say when I was a member of my daughter's recreational league board, "If you're not happy with the coaching then volunteer yourself." At the travel level your daughter hopefully has more professional coaches that legitimately know more than you do about the game and how to teach it.

Believe me, every coach in every corner of the country wants the very best for each of his or her players. However, fastpitch softball is a numbers game and as coaches we must be mindful of the stats and play kids accordingly. There is a girl on my fall team who is a tremendous athlete yet batting only .120. She hit well over .300 last spring/summer but is having a tough time this fall. She is certainly trying too hard and some of her frustration is showing up in her defense. As a coach should I stick with her based on what she did last season and what I know she is capable of doing? I'll let you make that call. It is not an easy one for sure.

The bottom line from me on this rainy morning in sunny San Diego is a big shout out to all of you who give your time so willingly to coach these great young athletes. Thank you for helping the great sport of fastpitch softball to grow so quickly in recent years across America, while in the process giving so many young ladies the opportunity to both play the game as well as learn to enduring life lessons fastpitch softball teaches them!

For those of you who are not coaches or don't coach anymore please support your athlete's coaches and recognize that they are doing the best they can to juggle 12-16 players every game and practice. Fastpitch softball is a tough game for everyone involved. It is a game of infinite variables and bounces. Every coach makes mistakes, so please don't bad mouth them to other parents or worse to your athlete. As it is with your athlete I would suggest you applaud the coaches' effort and not the outcome.

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Because I am so confident that my Game Changer Program: A Mental Skills Blueprint to Make Her the Best She Can Be, will absolutely transform your athlete into the consistent peak performer you both want her to be...from now through Sunday evening, November 6, at midnight I am slashing the price of The Game Changer Program from $59.97 to just $39.97! That is a whopping 33% discount. This is a multi-media program which includes my new 175 page book, How She Thinks is How She Plays, plus over 6 hours and 26 powerful mental skills audio lessons to help your athlete to conquer the 21 Mental Performance Killers that sabotage her success on the field. You also get a bonus 40 page ebook, Think It & Hit It, as well as a FREE 30 minute private Mental Skills Coaching lesson with John Kelly.

For about the same amount as you spend for a 30 minute hitting or pitching lesson you can give your athlete an early Christmas present that will transform her game forever! This is a one time discount that will end Sunday night at midnight. Don't leave her fastpitch future to chance...get her The Game Changer today! Just type in the word "fastpitch" in the Apply Coupon box to get the great price of $39.97.


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Can Attitude Really Make a Difference on the Field?

It's Monday morning, Halloween, and I am as per usual a little slow after coaching three games yesterday accompanied by the two hours in the car to and from the games and 85 degree heat.

I enjoy my Mondays after games because it allows me to reflect on what I saw and heard the day(s) before. I am still a student of the game and enjoy watching the games as much as I do coaching them.

Yesterday I helped coach my travel organization's 12u team. I had been told by their head coach that they were an inconsistent bunch (like most 12 year old teams) that had beaten themselves repeatedly. To everyone's amazement the team I saw play was outstanding! They played stellar defense, hit the ball well, played with confidence and really seemed to be having fun. If not for a pitching meltdown in the last inning of our second game we'd have come away with three convincing victories for the day.

In my book, How She Thinks is How She Plays, I write about how critical a player's attitude is her performance. If a player or team (or coach or parents) carries a "can do" attitude onto the field amazing things can happen. Conversely if a player or team is stuck on a "can't do" attitude the results will be predictably poor. Positive energy is contagious and it absolutely can shift momentum in a game or on a team from game to game as I saw yesterday.

The greatest reward for any coach is getting his or her players to play to their potential and have great fun doing it. How is this accomplished? Young athletes inherently enjoy playing the game and having fun. After all, they are kids! However, adults can bring this natural enthusiasm and joy down with:

1. Engaging in unrealistic expectations
2. Excessive negative comments or body language
3. Expecting the same level of play going forward (no optimism for better)
4. Exhibiting frustration
5. Playing the game to win only
6. Being results focused versus effort focused
7. Micro-managing or judging every at bat or play

Now the head coach of the team I coached with yesterday does a great job with her girls and, no doubt, her patience has been tested with this team. However, perhaps the dynamic changed a bit with the old coach joining her and pumping a little different energy into the mix. Always glad to lend a little Winner's Edge karma to the cause!

As I say all too often if the adults can frame the game as a perpetual learning opportunity the inevitable adversities the game of fastpitch softball throws at your athlete will be much easier to overcome. Remember...kids are naturally joyous. If parents and coaches can harness that natural enthusiasm and keep that attitude in "can do" mode there is no limit to how good your athlete and her team can be!

If you are truly serious about your athlete becoming the very best she can be do yourself a favor and read my book. For less than the cost of a 30 minute hitting lesson you can give her the tools to become the consistent peak performer top coaches want on their team. Plus I have some really funny stories in there too!

Please follow us on Facebook where I am posting a daily softball question your athlete should enjoy answering.

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Girls Softball: Team Chemistry Can Make or "Brake" Her Team

Because girls softball is a team game wrapped around individual performances the team chemistry, culture and vibe can really be the tipping point factor on whether your athlete's team will be good or great.

Team chemistry can consist of a variety of different elements, all of which can either enhance or detract from a team's success:

1. The Coach(es): As the leader(s) of the team the coach(es) need to establish the team culture for the behavior and attitude of his/her players. If a coach shows favorites or allows certain players to get away with showing up late or dogging it the rest of the team will pick up on it and team chemistry will be weak because the coach has has created a two tiered culture within the team.

Likewise if a coach does not offer adequate playing time to certain players this can create poor team chemistry. Now I'm not advocating equal play but rather getting all players in a game if the score and game situation allows for it. Coaches also need to be good communicators in order to establish and maintain good team chemistry. If a coach does not clearly communicate to each player her role on the team morale and chemistry will suffer.

2. The Players: If a team's chemistry and culture are not rock solid certain players on the team can be a cause of poor team chemistry. If the coach is not a strong leader that the players respect one or more players may assume a leadership role on the team. This can be a very positive thing or a very detrimental thing. If one player believes she is above the team concept and feels she is better than her teammates this may cause resentment among teammates. I have even seen players order other players around and berate them for poor play. This should always be the role of the coach and not the player.

3. The Parents:  Team parents can play a huge role in supporting or undermining their athlete's team. Talking about other players or the coach in a derogatory way will absolutely undermine team chemistry on both sides of the fence. A single parent, like a single player, can be poison for an otherwise harmonious team. Make sure you are not one of those parents...please!

The upsides of your athlete playing on a team with great chemistry include:

1. Positive team attitude and energy.
2. Tighter friendships.
3. Team is never out of a game.
4. Looking forward to playing and practicing more.
5. Greater learning opportunity with coaches and team.
6. Few distractions allowing her to be the best she can be.
7. Likely a successful team on the field and fun off the field.

I have coached on and parented around teams with both great team chemistry and a few with less than stellar team chemistry and the former is a whole lot more fun than the later for parents, players and coaches! It takes a conscious effort to be sure the proper attitude is set from day one on the team and a willingness to stick to it's priority. This may mean the a player (or coach) is not asked back in an effort to promote and maintain positive team chemistry.

Remember, the good of the team must always come before the good of any player, coach or parent. The last time I checked there still is no "I" in the word team!

 Watch John Kelly explain how to skyrocket your athlete's game day performance HERE.

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Choosing the Best Team for Your Athlete

I am often asked by parents whose athlete is making the jump into travel or competitive softball what factors they should consider in deciding which team to place their athlete on. The answer would be the same if your athlete currently plays travel and is considering making a change. Here are what I would consider the most important factors to consider:

1. Assess her motivation for playing the game. Does she like softball or love softball? Is she playing to get better or playing for social reasons or simply to have fun? What are her (and your) goals for playing the game: college, high school, travel, recreational only? How hard is she willing to work to get better?

2. Assess as objectively as possible her softball and athletic skill levels. Does she possess mad skills or does she not? How does she compare to other players? What are her strengths and weaknesses as a player?

3. Assess, as a parent or guardian, how much of a time and financial commitment you are prepared to make to your athlete's softball activities? Travel or competitive softball entails endless weekends of three to five games per day in far flung locations when leaving home before dawn and returning home after dark are not uncommon. The average family spends several thousand dollars each year for the overall cost of participation (dues, travel costs, private lessons, equipment)

4. Attend several tryouts and do your homework on the strengths and weaknesses of any team or organization you're considering joining. Go watch some of their games to get a better idea of how the coaches coach, how they utilize their players, how competent their players are? Do they have fun playing?

Giveyour athlete the gift that will change her game forever!

5. If your athlete is a specialist like a pitcher, catcher or slapper be mindful of how many other players that play that position are on that team. Will your athlete get the opportunity to play or will she "ride the pine?"

6. If your athlete is a position player assess what size roster a prospective team usually carries. A roster of 12 players versus 14 or 15 will likely mean more playing time for your athlete.

7. What is the culture of the team or organization? Is the team coached by parents with daughters on the team or is the team run by professional coaches without a child playing? Does the team or organization make a commitment to player development at the younger ages, and have a reputation for building strong players and teams? Does the team or organization stress winning at all costs? Do players on this team stick with the team or do they have massive turnover every season?

8. What is the team or organization's track record in having their players recruited by top colleges (if that is your goal)? Do they attend the right showcase tournaments to give your athlete the best exposure possible? Do they have contacts at the college level to help promote their players?

Assessing all these different factors should help you to place your athlete on the right team that will be a good fit for everyone. Take your time and check out as many teams as you can before making a commitment. Remember, softball should be first and foremost a fun activity for your athlete and not a job...so choose her team wisely!

To learn more about your athlete can conquer the 21 Mental Performance Killers that sabotage her success check out John's new Game Changer Program: A Mental Skills Blueprint for Making Her the Best She Can Be.

Only two more days until John's new book, How She Thinks is How She Plays is released!

Be sure to subscribe to John's weekly Softball Smarts Tips (now on this page at the top of the right column) for fresh Mental Skills insights, strategies, tools and tips that will make her the best she can be!

For more info and free Mental Skills resources visit us at John Michael Kelly Sports.

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Effort Over Outcome...They Listened!

The summer of 2009 was a magical season for a 12u fastpitch team I coached. My team accomplished a level of success that our organization had never known before, finishing 1st or 2nd place in seven of ten tournaments we played, plus a 3rd place finish in the State Tournament and 7th place in ASA Nationals. These results are easy to be impressed with and in a culture where performance and results are "king" we had an epic season.

The real secret behind my team's success was planted much earlier in the story...on the very first day of practice. I decided to implement a new coaching philosophy that I had been working on for a few years. I knew I had an excellent core of players that, like so many other teams from our organization in previous seasons, had never achieved their true softball potential. I truly believed we had the makings of a very special team on that first day we assembled.

So what was so different about my new coaching philosophy? Historically I, and most coaches I am afraid, was focused on results. Game scores and a "W" or "L" were all that really mattered to me. It was as if my team's results defined me as a coach and a person. After many years of this type of thinking I came to the realization that the pressure and expectations of results only thinking was actually hurting my team and all the players on it.

Give your athlete the gift that will change her game forever!

Instead I began to implement a new coaching philosophy that focused solely on my team's effort and not the outcome or results. It was unfamiliar territory for both my players and myself, but it felt right. I told my team that we would not focus on the score of the game nor the results of the game (including focusing on any errors or poor at bats), but rather would focus only on two things: 100% effort and 100% mental focus; both of which my players had 100% control over.

I believed that if my players concentrated on those two things the results we all so desperately desired, and too often fell short of in past seasons, would magically happen...and boy did they! We had numerous come from behind wins, continually got off to early leads and had a lot of fun playing together. Even the parents and coaches got along like one big happy family!

My team was not saddled with burdensome expectations and results driven thinking and they played that way. We quickly moved to 11-1, then 21-3 early in the season. My team played relaxed with poise, confidence and joy. The new coaching formula clearly was working. The girls were becoming consistent peak performers because they were focusing on the task at hand, each inning and each batter. The mold was cast and the rest of our season was a very cool experience for everyone.

The secret was simple, although it took years of doing it the wrong way before I figured out the right way! My athletes played as champions, with passion and joy. More importantly we created great memories that will last a lifetime!

Learn more about how mental skills mastery will have the recruiters knocking down your door at Winner's Edge Softball.


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Why Physical Training is Not Enough

As a fastpitch softball game coach I fully recognize the enormous value of physical training. Softball is a tough sport to master with a seemingly infinite number of variables that require a ton of physical repetitions to become proficient at; whether hitting, on defense, base running or in the circle.

However as a mental skills coach I also recognize that without similar time and energy focused on understanding then mastering the mental side of the game no athlete will ever truly reach her full potential...it simply is not possible.

As I cover in my new book, How She Thinks is How She Plays, at a certain level of competition you will find that most of the players are physically sound and know how to play the game. By 15 or 16 most players at the elite travel level have mastered the physical side of softball. After playing the game for ten plus years these players have had enough physical training to allow them to play the game well, even very well.

However, at this stage of a player's career (and sometimes a year or two younger) many of them peak; meaning their game doesn't get any better. In short these players have advanced as far as they can with physical training alone. So where do they go next?

Give your athlete the gift that will change her game forever!

At this stage of a fastpitch softball player's career the only place she can turn to is mental skills training. So often I see elite "physical" players who are not yet elite "mental" players. These are the athletes who can't seem to play at a consistently high level from week to week or from game to game. These are the athletes who tend to choke in the big game or big at bat. These are the players who the recruiters look at and say "wow" one day and "whoa" the next!

The bottom line for your athlete...physical training alone is simply not enough to insure that she will become the very best she can be; the consistent peak performer that top coaches want on their team. To focus solely on the physical and ignore the mental is a game of Russian Roulette you really don't want to play with your athlete's future.

To reiterate I am 110% on board with as much physical training as it takes for your athlete to master the physical side of the game. Drills, batting practice, pitching lessons, speed, agility or conditioning training I absolutely support. Why? Because she needs it!

Unfortunately focusing on physical training alone is like painting a portrait in black and white; the true colors of your daughter's potential will only come out on the canvas if she also focuses on her mental training.

As a game coach and mental skills coach I often connect competence with confidence. I believe the two are intertwined in a sort of cause and effect type relationship. I believe that confidence breed competence. I also believe that competence breeds confidence. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? You can't have one without the other.

Well I believe the same concept is true with both physical training and mental training...your athlete needs them both to be optimally confident and competent. And the great thing about mastering both the physical and mental is that your athlete will quickly become a far more consistent performer who actually loves playing the game. Her confidence and competence will soar and recruiters will be lined up at your door!

To Learn more about how your athlete can move beyond physical training to become the very best she can be with a personalized mental skills game plan check us out at Winner's Edge Softball.

Only 6 days until the release of John's latest book, How She Thinks is How She Plays 
and must have program, The Game Changer: A Mental Skills Blueprint to Make Her the Best She Can Be.

Subscribe to weekly Softball Smarts Tips where John shares fresh insights, tools and tips that will give your athlete the edge!


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Filling Her Emotional Tank

In 2011 as gasoline continues to hover around $4.00 per gallon we all spend a lot of time at the pump filling up our gas tanks. But did you know that your athlete has a very distinct and fragile emotional tank that needs to be constantly filled up as well?

Human beings and particularly athletes crave and need emotional support and the positive "can do" energy that flows from it. Why does the home team win such a high percentage of the time? College football or college basketball are great examples of how young athletes respond to the emotional support the home crowd gives them.

Your athlete is no different. Since she is still growing cognitively her emotions can keep her on a roller coaster ride from week to week. Fastpitch softball can further burden her with a heavy dose of adversity to overcome in the form of strikeouts, errors or mental mistakes. It is at this time that your athlete needs to have her emotional tank filled up. As adults, whether a coach or parent, when we choose focus on the mistakes (rather than the effort) and send young athletes negative energy their emotional tanks will start to deplete; causing them to make even more mistakes and derive less enjoyment from the game.

Encouragement and praise go a long way towards keeping your athlete's emotional tank needle on full. In coaching we call it the "sandwich method" of praise and constructive criticism: praise-correct-praise. Recent research by the Positive Coaching Alliance shows that a ratio of 5:1 praise to correction is a far better formula for ensuring an athlete's emotional tank remains full.

Give your athlete the gift that will change her game forever!

 Youngsters are often unable or unwilling to share their emotions and feelings with adults so just because your athlete may not say anything to you about where her emotional tank level is at just know that your communication with her plays a huge role in how she feels about herself and her performance. So after a particularly tough game give her a little room and a little time before doling out any criticism, analysis or judgment you may be inclined to do. Remember the goal is always to keep your athlete's emotional tank overflowing. 

Self-confidence, self-esteem and a healthy self-image all play an enormous role in the level of success and happiness your athlete will have on the athletic field and in life. Your being aware of filling versus depleting her emotional tank will go a long ways towards her becoming the very best player and person she can be!

For more helpful resources on filling her emotional tank and positive sports parent skills go to Positive Coaching Alliance.

To learn more about how your athlete can master the mental skills necessary to become the consistent peak performing player top coaches want visit us at Winner's Edge Softball.

Subscribe to John's weekly Softball Smarts Tips for valuable insights, tools and tips to help your athlete become the very best she can be.

Just 10 more days until the release of John's latest book, How She Thinks is How She Plays and The Game Changer Program: A Mental Skills Blueprint to Make Her the Best She Can Be.

How Expectations Can Damage Your Athlete

Your athlete is likely under the burden of expectations every time she steps onto the field, and these expectations can strangle and sabotage her performance without you or her even knowing it.

Expectations can be the 700 pound gorilla in the room and here is why. In a game that is built on failure fastpitch softball will inevitably kick your athlete in the stomach and test her ability to overcome adversity. Expectations that are unrealistic can be very damaging to her self-confidence and disrupt her performance by causing undue stress and anxiety. Let's look at the three most common forms of expectations your athlete may fall prey to:

• Parental Expectations - the most common and damaging for any player. Children naturally want to please their parents so excessive and unrealistic expectations placed on a child can cause her to try too hard causing mistakes. Mistakes cause increased ire by the parents and the vicious cycle of expectations accelerates further damaging the athlete's performance.
• Coach Expectations - often as damaging as those of parents because they likely rear their ugly head during the game and right after a mistake or poor at bat when a coach is most likely to use negative verbal or non-verbal communication to express disapproval of the athlete's performance. Many coaches are prone to expect perfection from their teams and players...which is a losing proposition as no team or player that has ever played the game is perfect.
• Player's Expectations- Certainly having an expectation for success is healthy for your athlete. expectation. After all she works hard at her game and thus should expect a reward for her efforts. However many players suffer from perfectionsim in which they expect that their game will always be without mistakes, outs or hits (if a pitcher). Thus every game is a set up for frustration, anger or sadness. This behavior and thought process is extremely dangerous and can have profound negative impact on all areas of her life.

These three sources of expectations individually can cause your athlete to fall short of her performance goals. Collectively they can turn your athlete into a nervous wreck incapable of the mental focus and self-confidence necessary to succeed at the difficult game of fastpitch softball.

As a parent of a softball player and a coach (game and mental skills) I highly recommend that you be honest in assessing your own expectations for your athlete. The pressure you may be putting on her may be an unconscious one, yet she feels it just the same. In my new book, How She Thinks Is How She Plays, I cover in great detail just how difficult a game fastpitch softball really is.

Suffice it to say that a hitter has less than 1/3 of one second to determine the ball's velocity, location and movement in a strike zone that measures about six square feet. Is it tough to hit a ball...you bet it is!

My suggestion is to also have a discussion with your athlete to determine what expectations she has for her own performance to determine whether these expectations are healthy or unrealistic. Moreover softball should be a fun activity for your athlete where she can learn the many positive life lessons sports can teach her. Burdensome expectations only serve to make those opportunities for growth and joy blurred and unrecognizable.

Learn more about Winner's Edge Softball and the 21 Mental Performance Killers that sabotage your athlete's success and efforts to become the consistent peak performer college coaches want.

Read John's daily Softball Smarts blog. Sign up for the weekly Softball Smarts Tips.

Winning at All Costs...Does That Really Help Your Team?

As a coach I certainly recognize that one of the main purposes of any sport is to win. However in the context of youth sports the prioritization and obsession with winning above all else is a dangerous message to send to young athletes.

All too often I see softball coaches (and I'm sure the same indictment can probably be charged against coaches in many others sports as well) so wrapped up in winning a game that they are oblivious to how they manage their rosters; meaning which girls play and don't play. Now before you accuse me of being a whiny parent let me frame it a little differently. You see from my perspective, having coached over 600 fastpitch softball games, ALL coaches have the responsibility to use their rosters appropriately --given that it is youth softball not the 7th game of the World Series.

All coaches grapple with how to manage a big roster. Coaching a team of 14-15 girls or more can be difficult. Usually it is fairly easy to determine your starting nine or ten (if a DP is used). However how does a coach use the remainder of his or her roster? If every girl on the team works hard in practice and has a sufficient skills to play at the level they are playing should they not be given an opportunity to play?

A coach needs to assess the type of game and individual game situation to PRIORITIZE as much as possible every player's full participation in the game. In other words is it a championship game in a tournament versus a fairly meaningless fall game or friendly. Is it a league game or a preseason game? Is the score 1-1 or 10-1?

Whether the girl is 8 or 18 the same rules should apply. If the game situation allows it ALL players should get an at bat, be able to pinch run or play an inning or two in the field. A coach that consistently disregards this will find a diminished enthusiasm among those girls not playing, which can lead to a diminished team chemistry and girls quitting the program. And for what purpose?

The sad thing is if the coach put her or himself in the shoes of the kids not playing he or she would realize how painful not playing can be to a young la. It impacts her self-esteem and overall self-confidence. And it is all so UNNECESSARY!

If you're up 5-0 in the last inning give a girl sitting on the bench or cheering her butt off for the last 90 minutes an at bat. How hard can that be? If you're up 8-0 in the third inning give your third pitcher a couple of innings --particularly if it is a relatively meaningless game.

Winning at all costs is ridiculous when it comes to youth sports and coaches who continue to implement that strategy should be reprimanded or removed. All young athletes, regardless of age, skill level or level of competition deserve an opportunity to participate. If not the coach is robbing them of the extremely valuable life lessons sports can teach.

At the end of the day or the end of your softball player's career she will not remember the scores, as only adults do that, but rather she will remember the joy of competing and the opportunity to be an active part of something bigger than she was. That is why it's called a "team."

What do you think?

Visit us at: WinnersEdgeSoftball.com for more great mental skills insights, tools and strategies for making your athlete the best she can be. Sign up for our FREE weekly Softball Smarts Tips.

Is Playing Sports a Job or a Joy?

As a coach and a parent I forget sometimes what sport really is...an opportunity to play a game you love. Sports should first and foremost be FUN. As a child I would get lost in a game of ball with my buddies at the park or in shooting hoops in the driveway until dusk. For me playing sports was a timeless endeavor of pure joy.

Sadly today for many kids playing sports feels more like a job than having fun. With the clear shift to focusing on a single sport that is played eleven months a year for many young athletes the sport they once loved has turned into an exercise in drudgery.

I see militant soccer and football coaches drilling their young players like they are preparing them for war. Eight, nine and ten year-old kids are having their love for the game systematically sucked out of them. Our societal obsession with sports and WINNING has trickled down to our youngsters and it is alarming!

In fastpitch softball we are not free of blame. In southern California we play well over 100 games covering nearly eleven months out of the year forcing the girls to endure grueling three and four game Sundays in triple digit heat, while putting them through three hour practices well into the evening on a school night. Is it really all for the love of the game?

Give your athlete the gift that will change her game forever!

In my latest book, How She Thinks is How She Plays, I advocate that a young athlete can become a consistent peak performer who also plays with tremendous passion ans joy. If your athlete truly is driven to be the best and loves the long hours of preparation and competition then great! However, for most young athletes sports is part of a balanced life that includes academics, family and friend time.

Softball can be great fun, even in the most competitive of environments, if you properly frame it for her. Allow her to have fun first and achieve second. Her on the field success will be heightened by her relaxed and joyous approach to the game. The stress and anxiety brought on by excessive expectations will have a diminishing effect on her performance.

So the next time you are inclined to push her like she is training for the Olympics recognize that sports should be a joy and not a job!

To learn more about creating a consistent peak performer who plays with passion and joy go to: http://www.WinnersEdgeSoftball.com or http://SoftballSmarts.com. 

Wanting Her Success Too Much

One of the traps that many parents fall into is in wanting their athlete’s success too much. It is, for you dads and moms, almost like you are playing the game yourself through your athlete; if you are coaching your athlete this challenge can be exponentially greater. When I was coaching my daughter every game was a lethal combination of pleasure and pain. I would live and die on every one of her at bats. It was as if her success or failure was mine. Does that sound familiar to you?

Even if you do not coach your athlete the challenge of wanting her success too much is something you should look at for yourself and/or spouse or other family members. Even if you were the best athlete of your generation it is your athlete and not you playing the game. She must make her own way which means making mistakes and not being perfect. Remember, mastery is a journey not a destination. It’s funny in my own head, when I critique my own daughter on her performance, I selectively forget how often I struck out, made errors in the field and walked hitters on the mound when I played the game. Do you do the same thing?

All your athlete needs and desires from you is unconditional support and love—whether she goes 4-4 or 0-4. It’s time to stop taking her successes and failures so personally. 

Give your athlete the gift that will change her game forever!

In a future blog I will cover the importance of your athlete’s ability to recognize the factors she has and does not have control over. Well I would say the same thing to you…you have no control over how your athlete performs on the field. Sure you may spend countless hours working on her game with her, and that is admirable. However, when she puts the uniform on and crosses the white lines it is far more healthy for you and for her if you can “let go” of injecting yourself into her performance and allow her to be the athlete, not you.

I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, and believe me this has been a hard one for the old athlete in me, but your playing days are over! Let her have her day in the sun without you willing every pitch or every hit.

If you can remain calm and a somewhat impartial observer at your athlete’s games (good luck with that, right?) both you and her will enjoy the game a whole lot more. Sure it’s exciting and tremendously fulfilling to see your athlete succeed, but what about when the emotional roller coaster dips when she fails. How does that feel for you? Wanting her success too much can begin to make the game unpleasant for both of you. So enjoy watching your athlete play and achieve success on her own without feeling the need to will it for her!

To learn more about the 21 Mental Performance Killers than can keep your athlete from the top of the recruiting list go to: http://www.WinnerEdgeSoftball.com.

Are You Leaving Your Player's Success to Chance?

Fastpitch softball has become extremely competitive, particularly at the travel or select level. It has become an expensive sport to participate in and even more expensive to excel at, with the added cost of private hitting, pitching or conditioning instructors. Yet most every parent neglects the one piece of the puzzle that can skyrocket their player's softball performance and enjoyment of the game: Mental Skills Training.

Are you, in fact, leaving your player's future success to chance? College, Travel, High School and All Star coaches are all looking for softball players that can consistently perform at a peak level during the rigors of a long season in a sport where disappointment, failure and adversity are the norm. They want the athlete that stands out from the crowd. Will your player be the one that does? I highly encourage you to review the list of potential mental performance killers from my last blog and honestly assess whether your player's softball performance and joy for playing the game is truly affected by any of them.

For more information on how you can ensure that your athlete stands out from the crowd go to: http://www.WinnersEdgeSoftball.com, or contact us at: WinnersEdgeSoftball@gmail.com.

Mental Performance Killers: Does She Have Any?

1. Pre-Game or in-game anxiety.
2. Lack of confidence.
3. Difficulty dealing with personal mistakes or game adversity.
4. Allowing a single mistake to cascade into multiple mental mistakes.
5. Poor performance in "pressure packed" big games.
6. Quality of practice play not carrying over into games.
7. Conflicts with coaches or teammates.
8. Doubt in her ability to succeed.
9. Fear of failure.
10. Super high expectations.
11. Low expectations for performance.
12. Lack of focus or concentration.
13. Emotional outbursts during the game (lack of composure).
14. Lack of motivation or feelings of burnout. 
15. Parental conflicts about game performance.
16. Feelings of inferiority with teammates or competition.
17. Critical coaches.
18. Difficulty dealing with injury or pain.

If your player suffers from one or several of these mental performance killers she is not playing to her peak potential and will seriously hurt her opportunities to play at the next level without learning and applying the proper mental skills.

For more information on how your athlete can overcome these mental performance killers and be the very best player she can be go to: http://www.WinnerEdgeSoftball.com, or contact us at: WinnersEdgeSoftball@gmail.com.

What is Mental Skills Training?

If softball is 90% mental then the secret to your player's being able to achieve her full softball potential is found between her ears! In reality how she thinks is how she will play. If your player suffers from any mental performance killers (see my previous blog) she likely does not possess the mental skills required to get the most out of her game; and make no mistake...this will severely limit her opportunity to play at the next level.

Wrong or distorted thinking leads to anxiety, fear, lack of focus or concentration and inconsistent performance at best...poor performance at worst. For your player the challenge then becomes thinking the same way and getting the same game results. You see her game results will not change unless her thinking changes, and her thinking won't change unless she possess the skills to understand the connection of her thinking, feelings and actions.

All elite athletes know the that their mastery of the mental side of the game will make or break their performance. Thus they seek out mental skills coaching to take their game to a peak level. At Winner's Edge Softball we can teach your player all the mental skills she will need in her toolbox to consistently dominate on the field and give her the edge over the competition.

For more information on how to make your athlete the very best she can be go to: http://www.WinnersEdgeSoftball.com, or contact Winner's Edge Softball at: WinnersEdgeSoftball@gmail.com