The Real Secret Behind Alabama's Softball Title

Winning a National Championship is never an easy feat and it certainly wasn't so for the Alabama Crimson Tide softball team this week in Oklahoma City. After going down in game one fairly convincingly against the hottest pitcher and team in the tournament, Oklahoma, Monday night Alabama was just seven innings away from another disappointment at the NCAA Women's College World Series.

But something magically happened overnight to the Bama team and they came out in game two a different team.

As I say often...success is a choice and so, apparently, is winning a National Championship.

In addition to some tremendous on the field adjustments Head Coach Patrick Murphy and his staff employed the Bama girls brought an incredible energy, enthusiasm, focus and a skyrocketed expectation for victory.

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As Alabama had been close several times before in the OKC the team's motto for the season was "Finish It!" And finish it they did in jumping out to an 8-1 lead in game two against a virtually un-hittable Keilani Ricketts (the NCAA Player of the Year).

Almost as exciting was Oklahoma's last inning five run comeback to make it close. Alabama won it all with another comeback in game three winning, arguably, the most exciting softball championship series ever.

So what is to be learned from both Alabama and Oklahoma?

1. Both teams never gave up and never gave in. They got to the championship series because of their talent and their character. Champions simply never stop competing.

2. Alabama made critical adjustments in the batter's box that served to take away one of Keilani Rickett's main strengths...the outside corner on her devastating curve. All great players and teams must make constant adjustments to maintain their edge and give them the best shot at victory.

3. Alabama got incredibly noisy on the bench. Their energy became contagious and absolutely spilled out onto the field and got into the Oklahoma players' heads. This energy literally shifted the momentum back over to Alabama's side and was the outside emotion of the inside thoughts (cause and effect).

4. I guarantee you that inside each of the Bama players' heads were nothing but positive, "can do" thoughts. Their internal conversation was all about "finishing it" and the expectancy for success. Their ultimate success was not an accident. It was the result of design...including incredible mental toughness and rock solid self-confidence.

5. There was an absolute absence of doubt on the Alabama team, starting with their coaching staff. I would suggest that immediately after game one Coach Murphy was already minimizing the loss and framing it as but a challenge to be overcome. Alabama played hard and lost. Game over...let's make some adjustments and come out tomorrow and win (one game at a time, one inning at a time, one pitch at a time). This is a huge reason why the Crimson Tide came back, and one your athlete needs to learn. Any adversity she faces can deflate her or pump her up to rise to the challenge like Alabama did.

In the end Alabama refused to lose. They willed themselves to victory against a tremendous opponent. They chose victory...this is the Alabama Advantage.

In the bigger picture each of the players on Bama won something much greater than a National Championship...they learned a life lesson they will never forget: If you work hard enough, keep believing long enough and never give up dreams can and will come true!

Congratulations to both teams for putting on a phenomenal show of effort, competition, sportsmanship, drive and passion. They demonstrated for three days what makes the game of fastpitch softball so great!

Your athlete and her team can use the Alabama Advantage whenever they choose to. Remember, success is a choice!

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Why Your Athlete Really Fails on Game Day

In sports there is a super fine line between success and failure on game day. In a long tournament weekend sometimes that line becomes blurred and as parents or coaches we struggle with why our athlete and team don't play consistently and seem to reach such highs one week then such lows the next.

From a recent experience with my own team I believe I have discovered why so many elite, or travel level athletes and teams fail to achieve their true potential on game day.

If you study, as I do, athletic competition at every level you will find that an athlete's or team's "mentality" before, during and after the game is the X Factor that determines winners and losers.  From professional to elite Olympic, amateur and college athletes alike how you think is truly how you will play. With most teams and athletes at the highest levels of competition being fairly equal in ability it becomes the mental preparation and mental response to game day adversity that becomes the deciding factor.

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However, I have discovered for younger athletes the dynamics on the mental side of game day success are far more complex and far more troubling.

Keep in mind that my assessment is a generalization; that your athlete or team may not suffer from these dynamics. I do, however, highly encourage you to look honestly at your athlete and team to see if you can chalk up game day failure to what I'm about to say:

1. We place our kids in a highly competitive sports environment where the bar for achievement and game day performance is high. They may really want to do this or just follow along because friends do it or parent say to do it, or that's just what everybody does.

Poor baby...only went 3 for 4?

2. We invest $100s or $1,000s into our athlete's game in an effort to keep up with the other kids and, presumably, give our athlete the best possible chance to succeed and play at the next level.

3. We tell them where to play, when to play, and how to play.

4. We drive them to kingdom come and game for practice, games, private lessons.

5. We drag the entire family to far flung places for games, packing coolers with goodies for our athletes between games and the reward of  "drive thru" on the way home.

6. During games we cheer loudly and after games either soothe our athlete's tender egos and feelings or quickly critique and criticize their efforts because we have a right to expect a perfect performance for the money and time we're investing.

7. Because of skyrocketed expectations from parents, coaches, peers and self the athletes are easily impacted emotionally when game day adversity hits...with heads down, tears and diminished attitude and effort.

In short the younger athlete has become a "robot," incapable of making decisions; incapable of producing the fire in the belly necessary to see adversity as opportunity; quick to pout and emote after adversity. 

Instead parents coddle these athletes, leading to mental softness instead of mental toughness. Some bizarre form of ADD takes root in these athletes as they appear to listen intently at practice, yet are incapable of applying what they have been taught on game day...making the same mental mistakes over and over again.

To the modern youth athlete as long as things are going well on game day they smile and play close to their potential. But at the slightest mistake or criticism from coach or parent they crumble emotionally, are quick to make excuses, or just finish out the game in a mental tailspin.

In my opinion many of these kids are cursed with an entitlement mentality, unaware or unwilling to do what it takes physically and mentally to be the best; to see competition as a challenge.

As a parent or coach my suggestion is to sit your athlete(s) down and clarify their motivation and desire for playing the game. Why do they play the game? What do you and them hope to get out of their playing the game at such a competitive level? Do they enjoy playing? Do they enjoy the competition, the challenge? Do they love the game?

To me, the bottom line is how bad your athlete and their team wants success. As I often say success is not an accident; it is an orchestrated effort of clearly defined physical and mental preparation. But more than that it is a burning desire to succeed, to play your best, to meet the challenge that playing sports at an ultra competitive level offers.

As former UCLA softball Head Coach, and winner of 11 National Championships, Sue Enquist told me, "The team that stops competing first will lose." It's just that simple. Unfortunately today many kids and their teams never start competing on game day! They go through the motions...robotic.

Playing youth sports at the highest levels has never been more competitive. It requires no less than everything a young athlete has to give both physically and mentally. I didn't make the rules...that's just how it is today.

Remember, mental toughness, effort and attitude are always a choice. As such game day success is also choice; but so is game day failure.

If your athlete is a robot maybe it's time to pull the plug and see if there truly is any fire in their belly to play the game at this level. If not, maybe chess is the answer?

Let me know what you think?

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The 10 Point Blueprint to Sports Confidence

Of all the topics I write about, speak about and train on self-confidence is consistently at the top of the list for parents, coaches and players...and for good reason. Without a high and consistent level of self-confidence your athlete will stand little chance of becoming a consistent peak performer on the field.

Self-confidence is the mental trigger mechanism that drives performance. Unfortunately for a young athlete self-confidence can be as fleeting as sand through their fingers, and a frustrating mystery for both parents and coaches.

It's a given that all athletes want to perform their best every time they step on the field. However, optimal performance is a result of both physical and mental skills mastery; one without the other will create a disconnect that will show up in key game situations when an athlete's success or failure will hinge on their "crunch time" performance.

Fortunately there is a blueprint to gaining peak self confidence, the ingredients of which are found in the complex set of variables that either serve to propel and empower confidence or sabotage and destroy confidence. The path this blueprint lays out is easy to understand, yet hard to master. Peak self-confidence comes with time and conscious effort by both player and parent. It requires being honest about the current state of the athlete's level of self-confidence and why it is where it is.

Here is the 10 point blueprint your athlete MUST follow in order to cultivate and maintain peak confidence that will, in turn, yield consistent peak performance on game day:

1. Acknowledge their current state of confidence, fear and anxiety. In other words for parent and athlete don't pretend the problem isn't there. With self-confidence issues your athlete can't just tough it out and work through it.

2. Recognize that fear is the base for most self-confidence issues for athletes. Fear of failure; fear of disappointing parents, teammates, coaches and self; fear of being embarrassed (particularly for girls); fear of the unknown.

3. The kids I train like this acronym: F.E.A.R. = False Evidence Appearing Real. Most young athlete engage in distorted thinking predicated on false evidence. Often they belief they cannot do something because their friend can't or simply because they haven't done it before. As a parent it is your job to challenge their beliefs about themselves and their game to get their thinking right. This alone will greatly diminish their fear.

4. Have a short memory. Like professionals your athlete needs to accept that mistakes and poor execution are part of the game; that these mistakes offer great opportunities to learn and get better in their sport. No athlete who ever played any game has been perfect 100% of the time. Having a short memory insures your athlete can get their focus back to the present moment, where peak performance lives.

5. Recognize that mastery of their sport is a journey not a destination. In other words your athlete won't just wake up one day and be a master of their sport; it takes time. Mastery is a process that looks like taking a step backwards some days. Patience is a requirement for building self-confidence.

6. Lighten the burden of expectations. Our kids today are under unprecedented pressure to excel in both school and on the athletic field. In addition to external expectations from parents, coaches and peers, your athlete may also have exceptionally high self-expectations for their performance. I see it every weekend. Setting the personal bar at a high level is admirable, but too high may be unrealistic and damaging to self-confidence when game results can rarely match expectations. In short, excessive expectations are a performance and confidence killer. 

6. Visualize Success. In my Game Changer Program I offer a detailed audio lesson on visualization or mental imagery. Your athlete can literally see their success in advance by utilizing these visualization techniques. By using all of their senses they can trick their subconscious mind into believing the performance they see in their head is real, so that on game day the mind and body perform anxiety free and with great precision. This mental "trick," used by elite athletes worldwide, can skyrocket self-confidence.

7. Have a positive mindset. With distorted thinking comes doubt. If your athlete's thoughts are negative they are limiting success. Negative, or "can't do" thinking will never grow confidence. Have your athlete develop positive trigger statements that can be used on game day as well as overall positive "can do" self talk during the course of the day. Re-boot the mental hard drive with a positive mindset.

8. Remember previous success. Often times a young athlete gets negative and engages in catastrophe thinking, when they expect the worst. By remembering a prior success they have had in their sport the chain of negative thinking that leads to a drop in confidence can be broken. Expecting success instead of failure is the goal and it starts with replacing the failure thinking with success thinking...including a belief that I can execute the task successfully because I have executed it successfully before.

9. Unconditional parental support. A fundamental foundation for any athlete's sustained self-confidence is their parents' unconditional support of them on and off the athletic field. Parents, while well meaning, can be the worst offenders to their own child's self-confidence. Being critical or judgmental of game performances is counter productive. All kids, by definition, want to please their parents and desperately want their acceptance. Understand that your athlete will never be perfect, so celebrate their effort more than their results and you will do wonders to build your athlete's level of confidence. Remember...it's only a game!

10. Build confidence by design. The goal of this 10 point blueprint is to change the way your athlete thinks; to start the process of building rock solid self-confidence one brick at a time. The starting place is always addressing the negative and fearful thoughts that bombard their head on game day, and particularly at the key moments of the game. Have a conversation with your athlete about all of these blueprint points as well as have them write down their own thoughts and feelings in their sports journal as a process of elevating their thoughts about themselves and their game.

Lack of self-confidence can be a very dangerous thing for your athlete. So many kids define themselves as individuals based on their athletic performance, particularly as adolescents. Low self-confidence can lead to low self-esteem and low self-image which can cascade into poor academic performance and poor social choices. Work with your athlete to build their self-confidence slowly but surely. The long term benefits will be well worth the time and effort.

Check out my new Sports Confidence Blueprint program, designed to skyrocket your athlete's game day confidence with dozens of proven strategies!

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Girl's Softball: Why is it Such a Hard Game?

Of all the games your athlete chose to play it had to be girl's softball, right? Now don't get me wrong...I'm sure other sports that girls play present their own unique challenges and difficulty in obtaining mastery, but...I'm sorry there is no game as difficult to play--that throws so much consistent adversity at a player--as softball. Even more so than it's baseball cousin because the 60 foot bases render the game quicker than baseball, causing every mistake to be magnified!

Abner Doubleday, or whoever really invented the game, must have had a wicked sense of humor! The game offers so many variables and unique one-on-one battles within the context of a team game, that it's a crazy hard game that will drive any player mad from time to time.

It is vitally important than your athlete recognize just how hard the game of girls softball is to play and master. No player...NONE has ever escaped without making an error or having a less than stellar at bat. So if she or you have expectations of her being the first softball player EVER to be perfect you might want to reconsider!

Remember that although perfection may never be achievable, striving for perfection is. Yes girls softball is a darned hard game, but your athlete's consistent efforts in practice and games will make her a far better person. As an adult she will have to learn deal with the inevitable adversities that life throws at all of us, so playing girls softball is a perfect opportunity for her to learn how to overcome adversity on the field. That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right?

For your athlete to excel at such a difficult game as girls softball she needs to have reasonable expectations and look at all failure as a learning opportunity to get better.

Because softball is, to me, the hardest game to master your athlete stands to benefit greatly from it. Yes the game will kick her in the stomach from time to time, but it will also teach her so many life lessons that the payback for her efforts can be enormous!

So as a parent be glad the game of softball is so hard. Your athlete is truly in elite company by mastering a sport that 90% of the girls her age either already quit or could never muster the courage or talent to play!

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Does She Focus on Success or Failure?

At Winner's Edge Softball we teach that how your athlete thinks will directly determine her level of success on the playing field. Therefore the critical question is what kinds of thoughts does she have? Does she focus her thoughts on seeing success or expecting failure?

Scientists claim that we each have in excess of 50,000 thoughts each day bombarding our minds. As with your athlete the quality of those thoughts has enormous impact on the life any of us experience. Our thoughts have immense power to create the conditions that show up in our lives, so we all must choose our thoughts wisely.

For a teenager, speaking as both a father and mental skills expert, it can be a hard sell to convince her that she has control over her thoughts, but in truth she does. If she does not control her thoughts, as I am prone to preach to my own daughter, then tell me who dies and I will have a talk with them!

If your athlete's dominant thoughts are on failure as she steps into the batters box or on deck circle her likelihood for success is slim. You see the reality is that dominant  "can't do" thoughts over the course of a day could amount to thousands of negative thoughts that reinforce her belief system that she cannot succeed. Now imagine the power of those repetitive thoughts over a period of days or weeks or worse. We're talking about potentially 100,000s of thoughts telling her subconscious mind and body that she cannot do it.

[Remember, your athlete may be supremely confident about certain parts of her game, but lacking confidence in other parts of her game. This post is addressing the elements of her game she worries about most and has exhibited a poor performance record with.]

This avalanche of negativity creates a virtual wall in her mind preventing her from success. And each subsequent failure or result less than desired will only reinforce her beliefs that she is not good enough or cannot complete a task successfully. Her future failure becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy.

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Likewise if your athlete's dominant thoughts are on success she will likely have a much higher probability of achieving that success on the field. Why? The mind-body connection we all have dictates that the mind tells the body what to do. If the mind is positive and filled with the expectancy for success the body will perform optimally because the mind is in a relaxed state and focused in the present moment and on the task at hand.

If your athlete is engaged in negative thinking her mind will be in turmoil, exhibiting high levels of anxiety and fear. This chemical reaction in the body brought on by perpetual negative "can't do" thinking will show up in the body as lack of focus (engaged in future or past focus: "Oh gosh, I struck out against this pitcher last game, I'll probably do it again."), dry mouth, sweaty palms, excessive adrenalin, increased pulse rate, reduced reaction time, and reduced visual acuity. This expectancy for failure creates a dramatically devastating effect on the body and the performance results are predictably poor.

The bottom line is what is your athlete thinking? Does she focus on success (through positive thinking and mental imagery) or does she focus on failure (through negative thinking and catastrophizing)? The choice is always hers, although she is likely unaware of it. As an adult you can help her to become more conscious of the power her thinking has to determine her athletic success.

To learn more about the 21 Mental Performance Killers than can sabotage her success visit us at: Winner's Edge Softball.

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How She Thinks is How She Plays

At my travel organization's practice last night many of the girls' efforts echo the reason why I wrote How She Thinks is How She Plays. I was working with the outfielders for two of our teams, probably 10-12 girls in all. We worked on various aspects of proper outfield play for over an hour, including such mundane matters as:

- Tucking the glove while chasing down a ball
- Proper sliding technique to catch balls in the outfield
- Cut off throws
- Proper technique for the body and glove when charging a "do or die" grounder
- Taking the proper drop step and route to a deep fly ball
- Using proper glove side spin for balls to the player's left side

After the specific outfield and infield sessions we brought both teams together for some situational work. It was disappointing to see how many of the girls I personally worked with (and it was probably the same for the coaches who worked with the infielders) that did not implement the exact things we had just worked on for the previous hour. It is as if they weren't listening or simply would not trust themselves to make the necessary adjustments to get better.

Look I'm the first one to recognize how hard the game of fastpitch softball is to master. However, your athlete will absolutely play to the level of her thinking. If she is incapable or unwilling to mentally focus on making her practices be as intense, beneficial and powerful as her games are she will never achieve her true softball potential.

As a Mental Skills Coach and a student of the mental game in sports for 25 years I can safely say that lack of mental focus and playing in the present moment is the biggest saboteur of young athletes' success. Mental focus is not magic...it takes hard work, but her ability to control her mental focus and thoughts is 100% within her control.

When she makes an error in the field, has a poor at bat, makes a base running error or grooves a fat pitch the overwhelming percent of the time the cause is simple to identify: her lack of mental focus. Now this can be due to myriad reasons (which I cover in my book), but the effect of these causes is the same: inconsistent play and more adversity and frustration than she needs to experience.

The art of mental imagery or visualization is a mental skills tools that Olympic, professional and elite athletes have used for years to attain present moment focus and supreme confidence and poise. In my Game Changer Program I have recorded an excellent 22 minute Audio Lesson on the benefits and process of using mental imagery to achieve lasting athletic success.

The bottom line is your athlete puts in hours and hours of time to become a better softball player. But all the physical training in the world may not be enough because how she thinks is how she plays! Top coaches at all levels are looking for those elite players who are consistent peak performers to add to their rosters, and becoming a consistent peak performer takes mastery of both the physical side and mental side of the game.

Don't let the 21 Mental Performance Killers sabotage all the hard work your athlete puts into her game. Visit us at Winner's Edge Softball to learn more.

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Top 10 Mental Performance Killers That Sabotage Her Success

We all want our darling daughters to succeed in everything they do in life, don't we? Athletics is certainly an area, as parents, we feel strongly about doing all we can to insure her success. By participating in the game of fastpitch softball your daughter has chosen a tough game to master; a game fraught with peril, adversity and disappointment around every corner.

As parents and coaches we spend countless hours and dollars on our daughters' mastery of the physical side of the sport. But, in my mind, physical training alone is simply not enough to make her a consistent peak performer. The inevitable failures that each player must overcome in fastpitch can snowball into more mistakes in an ever increasing downward performance spiral unless she possesses specific mental skills mastery.

Here are my Top 10 Mental Performance Killers that can absolutely sabotage her success:

1. Lack of Mental Focus or Present Moment Awareness- Unable to adequately concentrate at the pivotal moment of hitting, fielding, pitching or base running. Engaged in future or past focus.

2. Fear & Anxiety- Afraid of failure, embarrassment, disappointing parents, coach, teammates or self. Unable to control anxiety, adrenalin, focus causing a drop in performance.

3. Unmanageable Expectations- Burdened by excessive and unreasonable expectations on her performance by parents, coaches, teammates or self; accelerates anxiety, frustration and self-judgment.

4. Lack of Self-Confidence- Characterized by self-doubt, negative self talk, expectations of failure versus success.

5. Results versus Effort Thinking- Focusing on results only minimizes the value of her effort and minimizes learning opportunities.

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6. Lack of Trust- Can cause hesitancy in making a decision on the field and always leads to failure.

7. Lack of clear Motivation and Commitment- A potential disconnect between player and parent; unwilling to do whatever it takes to get better.

8. Lack of a clear and concise Plan for pre-game, in-game and post-game- Having a mental and physical game plan improves self-confidence and performance.

9. Not Recognizing her Controllables- Which factors does she have control over in the game and which factors does she not? Knowing this will lower her anxiety and self-judgment.

10. Expecting Failure (Catastrophe Thinking)- The most detrimental type of thinking; truly expecting the worst case scenario every time. Can bleed into all areas of her life.

All of these Top 10 Mental Performance Killers are covered at length in my new book, How She Thinks is How She Plays (read a sample chapter). It is vitally important that you recognize that there are specific reasons for your athlete's inconsistency on the playing field. It all starts with her thoughts, feelings and beliefs about herself and the game.

If the game is 90% mental as some say how much focus does your athlete spend there?

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How Resilient is Your Athlete?

Resiliency is a trait that is essential for your athlete to have in order to be the very best she can be. The game of fastpitch softball will throw much adversity at her...it's unavoidable. In truth her level of success will not be dictated by what happens to her but rather how she responds to what happens to her.

Her ability to bounce back from failure and adversity, to be resilient, is the key. But how does she learn to do that on a consistent basis? It's vitally important for you as the adult to help her to frame the game and her performance in a way that will encourage her to use her power of resiliency.

In my team's games last Sunday one of my players was having a difficult time adjusting to a slower pitcher. My player kept lining the ball foul, like five times in a row. She could not wait long enough to hit the ball fair. I could see her frustration mount with each pitch. I was telling her to "stay back," but her body would not comply. In one at bat, after maybe eight or nine pitches she grounded out to 3B. All she could do was shake her head all the way back to the dugout.

Before her next at bat I continued to work on her to mentally slow the game down, to experiment with her timing a bit, and mostly to have fun with it. On her next at bat she hit the first pitch way foul again. She looked at me and I just smiled back at her. She smiled at me and proceeded to line the next pitch right at 2B for another out. When she got to first base I smile and congratulated her on a great at bat. She made the difficult adjustment and waited long enough to hit the ball but a foot away from being a hit.

If your athlete, like my player, is only concerned with the results (making an out), without realizing just what a great at bat she may have had (by making adjustments, making the pitcher throw 8-9 pitches, by laying down a perfect sacrifice bunt, hitting behind the runner to advance her, or hitting the ball right on the screws right at somebody) she may be inclined to see her results as having failed.

Here are five sure fire ways you can help her to frame her performance in a way that will build up her resiliency:

• Reaffirm that the game of fastpitch is a difficult one in which no one is perfect. Mistakes and poor at bats are going to happen; they happen to every player.

• On the days when the game gets her she needs to view it as a "learning" or "investment" day to help her get better. Inevitably all mistakes provide an opportunity for growth.

• Have her focus on her effort and not the outcome or results. In this way she can focus on those factors she has control over...her effort and her attitude.

• Practice non-judgment of her performance. If she feels that you are down on her game it will be much harder for her to bounce back. Be supportive and re-read points 1-3.

• Have a discussion with her about expectations. Expectations her parents, coaches and she has for her performance, and determine how realistic these expectations are. Again, no one is perfect, but if your athlete truly believes she has to be her resiliency to bounce back from adversity will be slow forming.

Building a strong, resilient athlete requires a short memory, self-confidence and highly supportive parents and coaches. Like everything in sports resiliency will take time to cultivate on her journey to mastery.

To learn more about how to build a consistent peak performer top coaches put at the top of their list visit us at Winner's Edge Softball.

John's new book, How She Thinks is How She Plays, is now available! Read a sample chapter.

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That Comfy Couch Needs to Go!

Do you have a favorite item of furniture in your house, one that is super comfortable? This is likely the place you go when you want to relax after a long day or on a lazy Sunday morning to read the newspaper, a good book or watch a little TV. I call it the comfort zone; a place most of us would rather spend more time in if we could.

In truth comfort zones in life are a mixed blessing. Unfortunately for us to grow we need to push beyond those familiar comforts and be willing to risk being uncomfortable, making mistakes and occasionally falling flat on our faces. If we do not we can get trapped in our comfort zone to the point where our favorite chair becomes bumpy and tattered.

For your athlete comfort zones can definitely limit her growth, be it making new friends, trying a new activity or new food, or taking a challenging class at school.

Now I'm not suggesting that you or your athlete give up your favorite pair of old shoes, but in the game of fastpitch in the ultra competitive environment of youth sports in America today she will need to learn to be comfortable being uncomfortable.

For most young athletes in the early years they play in their local recreational league with their friends and classmates. As they progress and get better many start playing at the All Star level, with a new coach, new teammates and some travel while playing against teams from different cities. The next step is travel ball where your athlete may not know anyone on the team, travel to far flung places every weekend to play multiple games, arising before dawn to hit the road.

At this stage she may be asked to play different positions, bat in different spots in the lineup or maybe not be a starter at all. All in all the fairy tale comfort zone of her early years playing sports is but a memory. If she is not able to cope with all these changes in her softball world she will have difficulty playing well and having fun playing.

For those parents who feel the need to team hop on an annual basis your athlete is thrown out of her new comfort zone before the paint dries! All in all playing youth sports today sometimes looks more like a job or tour in the military than it does having fun. But in an era of specialization your athlete must travel down this path of change to play for the best teams and best coaches, and to be seen by the right scouts by playing in the right showcases.

In the big picture becoming comfortable with her discomfort is likely a good life lesson for your athlete to learn, however it would be far more enjoyable sometimes to just curl up on that comfy couch to watch Sponge Bob wouldn't it?

Learn more about how mental skills mastery will have the recruiters knocking down your door at Winner's Edge Softball.

Get John's latest book, How She Thinks is How She Plays and must have Game Changer Program: A Mental Skills Blueprint to Make Her the Best She Can Be -- on sale October 5!

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Some Days You Just Don't Bring Your "A" Game

A big part of being human is that we are all unique individuals with unique thoughts and emotions 24/7. Because we are not robots we are all prone to having off days, days when we just don't bring our "A" game to work, to school or to the ball field.

My 14u travel team played our first games of the fall season this past weekend and our hitters were predictably rusty after a two month layoff from seeing live "game" pitching. As per usual many of them were frustrated with their results. However I considered those games to be spring training for the girls and, like early spring training at the Major League level, the pitchers had the advantage.

As I talk about it length in my new book How She Thinks is How She Plays the secret to your athlete's success is her ability to bounce back from adversity, or results that fall short of her expectations. In a game filled with so many variables that are outside of any player's control fastpitch softball will get your athlete some days. On those days when she's not bringing her "A" game, for whatever reason, it's vitally important that she be able to frame it as such: "The game got me today, but tomorrow I'll get the game." These kinds of days can be considered investment days as they provide for greater learning opportunities.

I made a point to remind my players of that last Saturday, to recognize that they had not seen game pitching in a while and to be patient with themselves as they got they swings back to normal over the next few weeks. I think it took a little of the pressure off them and I even saw a few smiles.

Give your athlete the gift that will change her game forever!

The worst thing possible on the days your athlete does not bring her "A" game is for her to get down on herself and judge herself as being a poor hitter or poor player. Certainly she should always be learning as to what to work on to get better, but to judge herself on a snapshot of her overall performance is both unhealthy and unfair.

On the days we don't bring our "A" game we can be filled with frustration and disappointment, but that's just part of the human condition; we ALL have those kinds of days. Hopefully they are few and far between. Well the same is true for your athlete. There will be game days after she's getting over a cold, or after a tough week at school, after a poor night's sleep, or after a full moon...when she doesn't have the energy, focus or results you both would like. However, allow her to be human too and just chalk it up as one of those days when she just didn't bring her "A" game. Tomorrow will be a new day when all things are possible!

After several technical roadblocks John's book How She Thinks is How She Plays and The Game Changer Program should both be available for purchase by tomorrow, October 4.

Check out this blog in a new format launched by Blogger...it's very cool! Just roll your cursor over the word "Magazine" on the far left side of the black bar and a drop down menu will give you seven options of how you can view my blog.

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Barking Dogs and Softball

At this very moment I am suffering through about two consecutive hours of a neighbor's barking dog. I have a ton of work to accomplish today yet this dog is taking me off my game in a big way! The dog has gotten in my head and it has been impossible to keep the present moment awareness I so desperately need today!

Why do such little and inconsequential things affect us so badly sometimes? Not only has the dog taken away my focus from the tasks at hand but I'm finding it hard to let go of my frustration caused by the dog.

As I write about how essential it is for an athlete to let go of the things she has no control over I know this is true, but at this moment I recognize how hard that can be to execute! It is so easy for negative thoughts to take hold and the downward mental spiral to commence. And it is normally the smallest of things that can set us off, isn't it?

For adults, and your athlete, it all starts with mostly a rigid set of expectations. Like today my rigid set of expectations were that I would be able to record numerous audio lessons critical to launching The Game Changer Program in four days! However, with the dog's intrusion into my best made plans I now need to adopt a mentality of flexibility.

Just the same your athlete needs to allow for the flexibility of "Plan B" to take over when unforeseen circumstances take her off her game. Something as little as not being able to find her cleats as you are rushing out the door for the game, making her late, can set her (or you) off.

One's mental state can be a fragile thing leading to all kinds of negative thoughts which can emotionally and physically drain the body of both focus and energy.

Today I must push through the sound of my neighbor's dog and get my tasks completed while doing my best to come back to the present moment awareness I need. The next time your athlete is distracted by the "barking dog" remind her to employ more flexibility in how her game and her day unfolds!

P.S. -- If you hear barking in the background of any of my audio lessons you'll know why!

Learn more about why physical training simply isn't enough to make her the very best she can be at Winner's Edge Softball.

Learn more about all of our cutting edge original information products like How She Thinks is How She Plays, The Game Changer: A Mental Skills Blueprint to Make Her the Best She Can Be, The Secret Weapon Audio Collection 1, and 21 Killer Fastpitch Softball Winning Strategies and our new Mental Skills Tele-Classes coming in late October.

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Filling Her Emotional Tank

In 2011 as gasoline continues to hover around $4.00 per gallon we all spend a lot of time at the pump filling up our gas tanks. But did you know that your athlete has a very distinct and fragile emotional tank that needs to be constantly filled up as well?

Human beings and particularly athletes crave and need emotional support and the positive "can do" energy that flows from it. Why does the home team win such a high percentage of the time? College football or college basketball are great examples of how young athletes respond to the emotional support the home crowd gives them.

Your athlete is no different. Since she is still growing cognitively her emotions can keep her on a roller coaster ride from week to week. Fastpitch softball can further burden her with a heavy dose of adversity to overcome in the form of strikeouts, errors or mental mistakes. It is at this time that your athlete needs to have her emotional tank filled up. As adults, whether a coach or parent, when we choose focus on the mistakes (rather than the effort) and send young athletes negative energy their emotional tanks will start to deplete; causing them to make even more mistakes and derive less enjoyment from the game.

Encouragement and praise go a long way towards keeping your athlete's emotional tank needle on full. In coaching we call it the "sandwich method" of praise and constructive criticism: praise-correct-praise. Recent research by the Positive Coaching Alliance shows that a ratio of 5:1 praise to correction is a far better formula for ensuring an athlete's emotional tank remains full.

Give your athlete the gift that will change her game forever!

 Youngsters are often unable or unwilling to share their emotions and feelings with adults so just because your athlete may not say anything to you about where her emotional tank level is at just know that your communication with her plays a huge role in how she feels about herself and her performance. So after a particularly tough game give her a little room and a little time before doling out any criticism, analysis or judgment you may be inclined to do. Remember the goal is always to keep your athlete's emotional tank overflowing. 

Self-confidence, self-esteem and a healthy self-image all play an enormous role in the level of success and happiness your athlete will have on the athletic field and in life. Your being aware of filling versus depleting her emotional tank will go a long ways towards her becoming the very best player and person she can be!

For more helpful resources on filling her emotional tank and positive sports parent skills go to Positive Coaching Alliance.

To learn more about how your athlete can master the mental skills necessary to become the consistent peak performing player top coaches want visit us at Winner's Edge Softball.

Subscribe to John's weekly Softball Smarts Tips for valuable insights, tools and tips to help your athlete become the very best she can be.

Just 10 more days until the release of John's latest book, How She Thinks is How She Plays and The Game Changer Program: A Mental Skills Blueprint to Make Her the Best She Can Be.

How Expectations Can Damage Your Athlete

Your athlete is likely under the burden of expectations every time she steps onto the field, and these expectations can strangle and sabotage her performance without you or her even knowing it.

Expectations can be the 700 pound gorilla in the room and here is why. In a game that is built on failure fastpitch softball will inevitably kick your athlete in the stomach and test her ability to overcome adversity. Expectations that are unrealistic can be very damaging to her self-confidence and disrupt her performance by causing undue stress and anxiety. Let's look at the three most common forms of expectations your athlete may fall prey to:

• Parental Expectations - the most common and damaging for any player. Children naturally want to please their parents so excessive and unrealistic expectations placed on a child can cause her to try too hard causing mistakes. Mistakes cause increased ire by the parents and the vicious cycle of expectations accelerates further damaging the athlete's performance.
• Coach Expectations - often as damaging as those of parents because they likely rear their ugly head during the game and right after a mistake or poor at bat when a coach is most likely to use negative verbal or non-verbal communication to express disapproval of the athlete's performance. Many coaches are prone to expect perfection from their teams and players...which is a losing proposition as no team or player that has ever played the game is perfect.
• Player's Expectations- Certainly having an expectation for success is healthy for your athlete. expectation. After all she works hard at her game and thus should expect a reward for her efforts. However many players suffer from perfectionsim in which they expect that their game will always be without mistakes, outs or hits (if a pitcher). Thus every game is a set up for frustration, anger or sadness. This behavior and thought process is extremely dangerous and can have profound negative impact on all areas of her life.

These three sources of expectations individually can cause your athlete to fall short of her performance goals. Collectively they can turn your athlete into a nervous wreck incapable of the mental focus and self-confidence necessary to succeed at the difficult game of fastpitch softball.

As a parent of a softball player and a coach (game and mental skills) I highly recommend that you be honest in assessing your own expectations for your athlete. The pressure you may be putting on her may be an unconscious one, yet she feels it just the same. In my new book, How She Thinks Is How She Plays, I cover in great detail just how difficult a game fastpitch softball really is.

Suffice it to say that a hitter has less than 1/3 of one second to determine the ball's velocity, location and movement in a strike zone that measures about six square feet. Is it tough to hit a ball...you bet it is!

My suggestion is to also have a discussion with your athlete to determine what expectations she has for her own performance to determine whether these expectations are healthy or unrealistic. Moreover softball should be a fun activity for your athlete where she can learn the many positive life lessons sports can teach her. Burdensome expectations only serve to make those opportunities for growth and joy blurred and unrecognizable.

Learn more about Winner's Edge Softball and the 21 Mental Performance Killers that sabotage your athlete's success and efforts to become the consistent peak performer college coaches want.

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Control or No Control...She Needs to Know

Frustration is a natural byproduct of playing sports, particularly if an athlete has a high personal level of expectation for success. However, it's crucial for both player and parent to recognize those factors in which your athlete has control over and those factors in which she does not have any control over; her success depends on it!

In the game of fastpitch softball there are innumerable variables which dictate success or failure on each and every play. Given that softball is a game built on failure, as even the best hitters fail 6 out of 10 times, frustration would seem to be inescapable. However, if your athlete can recognize the factors she has no control over her frustration will diminish and her sense of accomplishment will be greatly enhanced. Whether in the field, in the box or in the circle what then are the factors she has no control over?

•  The umpire's calls (a big one)

• Where the ball goes once it leaves the bat (line drive hit right at someone or a ball that lands foul by a foot)
• The weather conditions (wind, sun in your eyes, heat, cold, poorly groomed or wet infield dirt, bumpy outfield, wet grass)
• Great play by the opposition
• A dominant pitcher that hits her spots
• A exhausting day with 3-5 games
• Being thrown out stealing on a hit and run the batter missed

If your athlete can frame these situations as being "out of her control" her results will not damage her confidence nor define her sense of accomplishment.

What does your athlete have control over? She has control over her attitude, her effort, her mental focus, her diet, her rest and her friends. Be sure that you both recognize what elements of her game are within and outside of her control and she will be well on her way towards becoming a consistent peak performer.

Learn more about the 21 Mental Performance Killers than sabotage your athlete from being the best she can be at: http://www.WinnersEdgeSoftball.com or http://www.SoftballSmarts.com.