Softball Success: Here is Where You Will Find It

Years ago I heard a mentor of mine utter a single phrase about personal success that hit me like a ton of bricks. I was young, ambitious and looking for any edge I could get to accelerate my success in the competitive industry I was in at the time, and this sage wisdom made so much sense I couldn't wait to see if it would work for me.

Years later I still remember that simple phrase, try to live by it, and now pass it on to the athletes I coach and others who follow my message, adapting its usage from business to sports.

The simple, yet powerful phrase?

"Success lies at the intersection of preparation and opportunity."

I encourage you to let these words sink in for a moment or two to see just how they resonate with you.

Now with full disclosure...the original phrase used the word "luck" instead of "success." My mentor explained it this way, "People always assume someone who achieves a great measure of success is somehow 'lucky,' when in fact that luck is really the by-product of a lot of hard work (preparation) coupled with the courage and wisdom to take advantage of the opportunities that present themselves along the way."

He went on to say that "since opportunity is always present the only variable in determining how successful someone will become is how well prepared they are."

So what can you as parent, coach or player take away from this wisdom?

Here is how I teach it:

1. I often hear parents and coaches complain that their athlete doesn't work hard enough or seem motivated; that she has so much potential, but doesn't seem to be achieving it. This could be symptom of burnout or more likely the lack of a clear "plan." As a parent or coach it is your responsibility to "connect the dots" for a younger athlete. I often refer to my players as being robots because they are programmed to do what we tell them to do, but are often unable to replicate these tasks on their own.  Sometimes it is as simple as having a discussion about "why" she plays the game, what her dreams and goals are for her sport (maybe softball isn't her favorite sport?). Develop a clear physical and mental game plan to get her from where so is to where she/you want her to be in a few years. Again, it's all about preparation!                                                                         
2. From the player's perspective I also see far too much a young athlete give up on herself after a mistake, poor at bat or rough inning in the circle. Her thinking slides into the "red zone" and her performance only gets worse over time. She has lost sight that as difficult as the game of softball can be it will always offer every player another opportunity for success; another at bat, another ball hit to you, another inning in the circle, another game. As long as the athlete (and the adults) can frame "failure" as but a learning opportunity to make necessary adjustments for the next opportunity consistent success is inevitable!
3. Ask your athlete or team this question: How good do you want to be? After they answer the question then ask her/them: How hard are to willing to work to be that good? As my mentor said, to the outside world a person/player's success looks easy. The truth is that every great athlete has put in countless hours of orchestrated physical and mental preparation in advance of their success. They success by design, not by accident!

So softball success does have an address after all. It lies at the intersection of preparation and opportunity! The great news is that your athlete and her team have TOTAL CONTROL over their effort and their their attitude.

Get your athlete excited about her softball future by connecting the dots for her. Help her to design a clear path/plan of preparation each week to get better at the game and you will begin to see a definable transformation to her game. Once she buys into the "big picture" success is sure to follow!

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The Attitude of Gratitude

Being grateful means being appreciative, and to appreciate means to value or admire something or someone highly. Another great definition from Merriam-Webster for "appreciate" is: to judge with heightened perception or understanding; to be fully aware of.

I bring these definitions to your attention this Thanksgiving weekend in an effort to heighten you and your athlete's awareness, perception and appreciation for the gift of softball and youth sports in general.

Let's get down to specifics with The Attitude of Gratitude:

Players - Recognize and be aware of just what a privilege it is to play your sport. No matter  what team you play on your coaches chose YOU to be on it. They believe in your ability, so respect and honor your coaches and teammates by giving 110% effort all the time and bringing the Attitude of Gratitude to every practice and game. Get excited about being on your team and appreciate every minute of it. Your energy of gratitude can inspire you and your team to do great things!

Increase your athlete's gratitude and performance here!

As well you should express deep gratitude and appreciation to your parents and other family members who support you in playing your support and sacrifice both valuable time and money for you to participate and improve through private lessons, traveling tournaments, clinics, top equipment, etc.

And although it may be hard to grasp in this generation but a generation ago young female athletes did not possess the opportunities to play the game as you do today. Honor those opportunities and those players who went before you to pioneer the game paving the way for the great opportunities you have today.

Remember that effort and attitude are always a choice. That you can be as good in this game as you want to be and are prepared to work for. Being grateful for the opportunity means not squandering it. If you have goals to play your sport in college find that burning desire to be your best and go for it!

Parents - For parents the Attitude of Gratitude looks like appreciating coaches for the hard work and commitment they make to your athlete's development (no, you don't need to like or agree with all their coaching decisions, but you can still be grateful and respect their time, energy and commitment). Appreciate your athlete and their team for the effort they put into mastering a very difficult sport. This means don't expect perfection; allow them time to learn by making the inevitable mistakes and adversity the game will throw at them. Focus on the process or getting better rather than solely on the results.

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Appreciate your spouse, your family and yourself for their (and your) sacrifices made that enable your athlete to pursue her dream. Being a sports parent today can be stressful, especially if you have more than one child pursuing their athletic dream! Employ "big picture" thinking.

Be grateful for all the wonderful life lessons your athlete is learning through her sports experiences...win or lose. As in life we tend to learn more in the midst of failure and adversity than constant smooth sailing, so allow your athlete to fail and know that inside she is learning and growing greatly from it. These life lessons she will carry her entire life and will (and likely already) make her a better, more disciplined, more resilient person able to handle the many challenges life will throw at her as an adult.

Also in your grateful bliss commit to honoring the game which means supporting your athlete's team 100%. Nothing is worse and more detrimental to a team's success than parents talking poorly about players, team or coaches to other parents or within earshot of players. This divisiveness creates negative energy among parents and team that can only hurt your athlete. Also support and appreciate the opposing team for without them there would be no game. Despite wearing a different uniform, as adults, we should wish success for all these young athletes. Recognize that they are all working hard to achieve their athletic dreams too.

Finally as part of having an Attitude of Gratitude please respect and appreciate the umpires and officials each and every game. As with the coaches you may not agree with all their calls (I know I usually don't!), but you can still show respect and recognition that he or she is doing the very best they can to get each call right. I can assure you, having spoken to hundreds of umpires and officials over the years, that they take their jobs very seriously. Most of them sat where you did years before watching their own kids play sports. As such they respect the athletes and want to be a positive force on the field. Your verbally ridiculing an umpire only serves to disrespect the game and undermine your athlete and her team.

So on this relaxing Thanksgiving weekend, while you and your athlete are likely taking a short break from the game remember the Attitude of Gratitude. I'm confident that if you and your athlete keep the points I have written here in mind you will both enjoy the game more and you might even enjoy writing those sports related checks a little more (okay...that might be a reach!).

**Give your athlete and his/her team the gift of self-confidence and peak performance with The Sports Confidence Blueprint program! On sale for only $49...full of a ton of mental performance resources!

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Success By Design: 5 Surefire Predictors of Her Success!

Even though I've been in the game of fastpitch for awhile I am not clairvoyant and don't claim to have a crystal ball. However, when it comes to predicting the absolute level of game day success a softball player will have I'm pretty confident I could do so blindfolded!

Yes...if I have just a handful of facts and a brief conversation with your athlete, without ever watching her play, I could tell you how good a player she is and will become with pinpoint accuracy.

How can I do that? Let me explain my magic.

Are you investing in her mental game? Change her game forever here!

As in life softball success is predictable based on a number of key factors, the most important of which is the Law of Cause and Effect; that every action empirically causes a specific and measurable reaction. Author Tony Robbins describes the process like this:

". . . the most powerful way to shape our lives is to get ourselves to take action.  The difference in the results that people produce comes down to what they’ve done differently from others in the same situations.  Different actions produce different results.  Why?  Because any action is a set cause in motion, and its effect builds on past effects to move us in a definite direction.  Every direction leads to an ultimate destination: our destiny."

Yes, I too had to read that passage a couple of times to really understand what Robbins was trying to say. After I figured it out it seems perfectly applicable to any athlete's sports "destiny."

One's destiny, in essence, is always shaped by choice; a choice of effort, a choice of attitude, a choice of preparation; a choice of purpose. And, thus, these different choices become the primal cause that shapes the ultimate levels of success and performance one athlete achieves versus another athlete.

Show me an elite athlete all the college coaches are drooling over and more often than not that athlete became elite as a result of the decisions, the actions, and the choices she has made for years.

As I often say, success simply is not an accident. An athlete succeeds by design. And a well designed and well executed plan will, as Robbins says, set in motion causes which will produce predictable effects, or results.

Here is an even more startling fact about athletic performance; right decisions, actions and choices made over time will absolutely accelerate any athlete's success because these actions become cumulative in nature. They truly build upon one another and, in fact, become habits that are the true predictors of consistent game day success.

And, perhaps, the biggest "cause and effect" benefit to your athlete approaching her success by design is that her self-confidence will skyrocket over time as she sees her decisions, actions and choices pay off on the field.

Here are five surefire "predictors" of your athlete's level of softball success:

1. Does she have clearly defined goals? In other words, why does she play the game? If she can develop and be motivated by the "why" she plays, keeping the end goal(s) in mind, she will have the right foundation and focus to accelerate her success.
2. How bad does she want success? This is the most powerful "cause" there is in predicting any athlete's success. It defines the intensity of purpose and effort an athlete is willing to expend to achieve her goals. In other words, what is she willing to do to succeed? Is she driven to be good or be great?
3. How well does she prepare? Greatness is built by the sum total of small efforts repeated daily. Is your athlete willing to work on her strength, her quickness, her hitting, pitching or fielding...her mental game for just 30 minutes each day to become the best player she can be? This is the "cumulative cause and effect" I talked about earlier. Is she doing ALL she can to get better, to master a difficult game....does she take massive action?
4. Does she enjoy the game? Ultimately for your athlete to reach her fullest softball potential she must enjoy the game enough to put in the consistent time and effort to achieve greatness. Remember what Tony Robbins said: "The difference in the results that people produce comes down to what they’ve done differently from others in the same situations."  For your athlete to stand out from the crowd she needs to have passion and joy for the game...a  pep in her step that others notice.
   
5. Does she expect success? Here is the mental ignition that can absolutely propel or limit your athlete's game day success level. Having the expectancy for success allows an athlete to bounce back from mistakes or bad games because she knows that she has done all the right things with her decisions, actions and choices and, thus, deserves success. 

In the final analysis you don't need to be a fortune teller to predict your athlete's game day success level. It is the sum total of her actions that will define her greatness or lack thereof. It's simply the Law of Cause and Effect in action.

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Why Does Your Athlete Play the Game?

Why does your athlete play the game?

Seems like a simple question, doesn't it? And yet my guess is that few teenaged athletes ever ask themselves that question today, yet they sweat and toil 10-12 months each year to master their sport with hopes of glory.

It all starts with an honest assessment of your athlete's motivation and desire  for playing their game. For without the proper motivation your athlete will not possess the burning desire necessary to do what it takes to elevate their game so he or she can dominate on game day and stand out from the crowd.

Your athlete's sport is likely a difficult game that will only get more competitive the older he or she gets.

As a coach it baffles me when kids have been taught to do something a certain way in practice again and again, yet come game day they completely forget how to do it. How can that be?

I have come to the realization that it all comes down to an athlete's motivation and desire. How bad do they want the success they work so hard for?

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Today's adolescent athlete is different than I and my peers were a few decades ago. Our motivation for playing was all ours, it was pure, and we worked our butts off to be the very best because we had a burning desire to succeed, to play in college or the pros. We didn't know any other way.

Today's athlete needs to find out why he or she plays the game, hopefully for more than just pleasing mom or dad, and it all starts with determining, specifically, what motivates them.

So let's start with understanding a little about motivation. There are two types of motivation:

Intrinsic Motivation - a personal interest or enjoyment in performing an activity or task (internal).

Extrinsic Motivation - the performance of an activity for the sake of attaining a specific result or incentive (external).  

If your athlete loves the game and would play it 24/7 if they could he or she has sufficient "intrinsic" motivation to be great.

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If your athlete doesn't really love the game he or she needs to attach their daily sports effort to specific "extrinsic" motivations, whether it's an iPhone, professional contract or just the drive to be the best.

I used the example in my team training of "what if your parent offered you a new iPhone if you got an "A" in Geometry? Would that motivate you to get an "A" in the class?"

Most all of the 35 teenaged softball players I was speaking to agreed that a new iPhone was sufficient motivation to work hard to get the "A."

The great connector between motivation and achievement are goals. Goals quantify the desired outcome or incentive and create a specific calculable process for their attainment.

Without clearly defined intrinsic or extrinsic motivations and a clearly defined path to get there (goals) your athlete will not possess the desire and overall blueprint to get where he or she wants to go with their sport.  

On those long, hot, exhausting days when your athlete wonders if it's all worth it remind them of their goals, the incentives and rewards they decided they wanted out of playing the game. 

Their constant connection as to why they play the game will serve to get them through the toughest of times and propel them forward to truly being the very best they can be. 

My suggestion is to take the time to sit down and have a discussion about motivation, desire and goals with your athlete and get them laser focused on why they play the game.

It might just make all the difference in the world!

Thanks for reading!

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What Drives Success?

As parents and coaches we all want success for our kids and those we coach. Of course some days are better than others, aren't they? It is easy to marvel at and celebrate a player's or team's success after the fact but what is behind the success? In other words...what drives success on game day? 

Last weekend my 14u team captured our tournament bracket to come home with medals and trophy. Like all successful tournaments Sunday's are long and generally stressful with many close games. Our Sunday was no different as we came from behind to win three straight games, including a 2-1 thriller in the final.

As happens so often a team gets on a roll and their level of play elevates. Look at most any tournament bracket and the deeper into the bracket you go the closer the games get. All of this would seem contrary to common sense as players battle fatigue with each additional game they play, often in less than ideal weather conditions.

So what drives success?

Focus

As I write about often the successful player on game day is one who can exert a high level of focus and energy in the present moment, whether as a hitter, fielder, pitcher or base runner. This mental focus is a product of an athlete's being in a relaxed state, confident...in the zone.

Typically, as I witnessed on my team last Sunday, players step up with the big hits and big plays because they expect to. At the point of impact they have turned off their mind from negative, doubtful or over-analyzing thoughts and replaced them with a "can do," ultra focused mindset.

In the most critical moments of the biggest games the most successful athletes are able to block out all external and internal distractions and simply do what they have been trained to do.

Preparation

Success is also driven by great preparation. The reason an athlete can exert laser focus in the most pivotal moments of the game is because they feel extraordinarily confident that they are ready for battle...ready to be the difference maker. Competition, big at bats, big pitches becomes a challenge they expect to win, rather than moments to be feared.

Superior mental and physical preparation is necessary for game day success. There simply are no short cuts to greatness. Game day success requires high intensity, focus and energy during every practice to build competence as well as confidence.

Desire

Success is, perhaps, foremost driven by desire. On my team last weekend I witnessed so many of my players displaying so much desire -- an attitude of "refuse to lose" -- on elimination Sunday, proving once again that success is a choice. In a game where only one team can emerge as champion desire, effort, passion, energy all take center stage in determining the outcome.

The will to succeed is an amazing human trait to watch in action. I saw it time and again from 13 and 14 year old athletes who were truly driven to succeed.

Watching younger athletes driven to succeed is an incredible thing. In a world where so many take and give little these athletes give everything they have to achieve their individual and team goals. They are wired for competition, molded for success.

The next time you watch your athlete or team play marvel at their effort, their focus, their desire. Playing this game is a blessing for it teaches these athlete exactly how to succeed in the bigger game called life. If your athlete is truly driven to succeed celebrate it! Maybe you can learn a thing or two yourself along the way!

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The No Limit Softball Player in 2013 - Part 1

As fastpitch softball players begin preparing themselves in the weeks and months ahead for the 2013 season one thing is clear...each player will choose by their beliefs, thoughts, feelings and actions just how successful her season will be. Will hers be a memorable season, one that sets her apart from the majority of the team as a true game changer...or will her season look much like the previous season in which she has occasional flashes of greatness but for the most part blends in with the rest of her team as an average player.

As I write about in my books the goal of being her best looks like being a consistent peak performer, but being consistently great is no easy task. It takes a high level of both physical and mental mastery to, not only, overcome the adversities the game throws at her but to actually thrive in the face of adversity.

In this three part series I will go into great detail of what it will take for your athlete to truly become a "no limit" athlete; where all things are possible for her. In my heart of hearts I believe that every young athlete can be as good as they want to be. Yes, for some that path may be shorter than for others. Nonetheless, I will explain exactly how to become a "no limit" athlete in three parts: "The Physical," "The Mental," and "Putting it All Together."

The Physical

The foundation for any "no limit" athlete is to recognize the factors they do and do not have control over. One's effort, attitude and mental focus are certainly controllables. We know that no two athletes have exactly the same bodies and physical skills, so what can your athlete do become a "no limit" athlete in the physical sense?

1. Develop a detailed physical training plan. Know her strengths and weaknesses. Does she need to improve her strength, her speed, her quickness, her command of sport specific skills? Make sure her physical training plan puts her on track to turn her physical weaknesses into strengths.

2. Mastering the physical is a choice that requires hard work. How committed is she to getting stronger, quicker, faster? Is she putting in the 30-60 minutes each day to work on her weaknesses? Most players don't. Once her regimen becomes habit she will see massive improvements that will catapult her game performance.

3. Believing the physical training is working. Because a well designed physical training program will be physically and mentally fatiguing your athlete has to believe that all her hard work is paying off. Her belief will motivate her to work harder and stay on schedule. This also requires patience as all physical improvements develop slowly but surely. Remember, a little improvement each day over time equals massive growth!

Michael Jordan, the ultimate "No Limit" athlete!

4. Doing more game related repetitions. This may sound like a simple task, but in my experience few girls ever do it. This looks like grabbing mom or dad, sister or brother, a teammate or neighbor to help with 100 grounders each day, 100 swings each day, as a pitcher throwing 100 pitches each day; as a catcher blocking 50 balls and making 50 throws to 2nd and 3rd base (and if not each day at least three times/week). Softball is a game of reps, so the more she takes outside of her regular practice the more her mastery will accelerate. Is all this easy to do combined with school work, other sports and a social life? Perhaps not...but again the choice is hers as to how good she wants to be. A "no limit" athlete makes the time.

Is she a "game changer?" Give her the tools to be one here.

5. Be the best you. Because no two athletes are the same it is vitally important that your athlete recognize the focus is on her being the very best "Chloe" or "Angie" she can be, and not comparing herself to a teammate or opponent. Being a "no limit" athlete means working her hardest to be the best you, given her unique body and innate skills.

6. Physical mastery is a challenge. To really get the most from your athlete's physical training she needs to look at the activity as a challenge. How hard can she work? Can she challenge herself to do 5 more reps...10 more reps. The "no limit" athlete never lets the unseen competitor work harder than she does. Make it fun, make it a game...win the challenge.

7. Bring it with passion. Physical training is much easier to endure with a smile on her face. If she can tie her hard work into tangible on the field results her motivation should carry her through. The "no limit" athlete always sees the end game; meaning she always recognizes that the effort she puts in today will yield the desired results down the road.

8. Begin it now. Whether her season starts this weekend or in three months begin it now! Small but steady physical repetitions to improve her strength, speed, agility, quickness or game skills add up over time...so don't wait to get her physical training plan into action. The sooner she starts and builds muscle memory and habit the easier it will become.

9. Make it easy. I'm not suggesting that you enlist 17 private trainers for this process! Your athlete can do wrist rolls to improve her wrist and arm strength for 10 minutes while watching TV. She can do 200 jumps with a rope for 10 minutes before dinner or when she gets up in the morning. If you have stairs in the house she can climb them anytime to increase her foot quickness and leg strength. The easier it is the more likely she will do it.

10. Keep track of her progress. Keeping a training journal is a good idea. It allows your athlete to not only follow a written training plan but also to record how she feels about her effort and how her body feels. Each time she goes on the field she will progressively feel stronger or quicker and her results will absolutely reflect that. Having a plan and recording its success will serve to further motive your athlete to continue her hard work on her way to mastery.

The bottom line...physical training is a choice. It is easy to make excuses about not having the time or energy to workout (particularly if she is a teenager). But if she has clearly definable goals for her softball career use those to help motive her and keep her focused on the big picture. Remember, the "no limit" athlete is also the no excuse athlete!

Read "The No Limit Athlete - Part 2, The Mental"

Thanks for reading!  -- John Kelly

Every athlete needs a high level of sports confidence to be successful on game day. Does your athlete have it? Take her sports confidence to the next level with the Sports Confidence Blueprint program...a proven step by step formula to skyrocket game performance and game confidence!

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10 Tips to Make 2012 Her Best Season Yet

It's January...the start of a new year when all things seems possible. Whether you are basking in 75 degree California weather or the wintery 20's in Detroit the 2012 softball season will be here before you know it (my first practice of 2012 is in two days).

As a coach the beginning of a new season is always exciting because every team and every player starts off with a clean slate, with thoughts of championships and .500 batting averages dancing through our heads. And the truth is that phenomenal success for your team or athlete is entirely possible...it really is.

It all gets down to what level of effort, dedication and attitude she brings to her game. After coaching for over a decade and having played ball through college I know that any player can expect to get out of the game exactly what she puts into it. You see the harsh truth is that "the game" doesn't care who wins. The game doesn't care who gets a hit and who makes an error. The game will giveth and taketh away without regard for who the players or teams are. The definable variable for success in a difficult game is personal choice.

Here are 10 surefire ways to turn the new season into a memorable one for your athlete:

1. Inspire yourself and others with your effort. Bring 110% effort each time you step on the field and stand out from the crowd.

2. Work harder than everyone else. Put in the time for more grounders, more swings, more pitches. To be great you have to be willing to want it more.

Give her the gift that will change her game forever!

3. Work equally as hard in your mental skills training. Question your assumptions and beliefs about yourself that may be limiting your performance.

4. Trust yourself more. If you are trying a new position, new hitting or pitching mechanics, or advancing to the next age level be willing to step outside of old comfort zones and embrace the opportunity in front of you with a "can do" attitude.

5. Set measurable goals you can track during the season. When you are tired or mentally fatigued during a game or long practice remember your goals and push a little harder.

6. Understand why you play the game. What motivates you? Find the underlying motive as to why you play and you will unlock the true secret of success.

7. Play the game with passion and joy. Once you know why you play and you trust yourself enough to give 110% have fun playing. Playing with passion brings great energy, focus and joy. Play the game with a pep in your step!

8. Be a relentless student of the game. "ABL" (always be learning). Greatness comes from understanding the game on the path of mastery. You can learn from playing or watching. It is always the little things that make the different between good and great.

9. Focus on your effort not the results. It is easy to get caught up in the results in such a numbers oriented game. However, know the factors you have control over (effort, attitude, focus) and the ones you do not. The irony is if you work hard at the things you can control the results you desire will come!

10. Support her unconditionally. This last point is aimed at parents. Remember that your athlete's journey towards mastering a very difficult game will take time. Be patient with her, celebrate her efforts, and be sure you help her to keep the game fun by keeping her perspective balanced.

Your athlete will get out of this great game what she is willing to put into it, with stellar physical and mental training and effort. She can truly be as good as she wants to be because the game doesn't care; the game does not play favorites. It will give her every opportunity for greatness whenever she is willing to accept the challenge!

I wish you and your family an awesome 2012. If your athlete can embrace these 9 tips (and you the last tip) she will be well on her way towards creating her best season ever!

 Watch John Kelly explain how to skyrocket your athlete's game day performance HERE.

Don't leave her 2012 success to chance! The game is 90% mental. Give her the gift that will change her game forever...The Game Changer Program: A Mental Skills Blueprint to Make Her the Best She Can Be!

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She's Just One Thought Away from Success

Success...we all want it for our kids, don't we? Whether it be in the classroom or on the athletic field we do all we can to insure that our daughters have every opportunity to succeed. And yet the secret to her success may be far simpler and far closer than you can imagine. Let me explain.

Every human being carries within him or her self a dominant thought pattern. This dominant pattern of thinking is the result of many internal and external factors. However, the most important determinant of someone's dominant thought patterns is his/her belief system. In the case of your athlete what does she believe about herself? What does she believe herself to be capable of?

For most of us our beliefs limit our potential, it's that simple. As I say often, "Either you think you can or think you can't." But even within that statement are varying degrees of success and limitation.

Now you may say..."John, are you crazy...of course my daughter wants to be successful," and I don't doubt for a minute that at the "conscious" level of her thinking she does. However given that she, like all of us, has over 50,000 unique thoughts swirling through her head every day ultimately it's what her "subconscious" thoughts say that will determine her fate. These subconscious thoughts are, again, a byproduct of what she believes about herself.

"The Thinker" by Rodin

As a game coach, as well as a mental skills coach, I see young athletes struggle on a weekly basis with self imposed limitations -- all as a result of their beliefs about their abilities and their potential. Much of this limiting belief may come from thoughts, and the emotions that accompany them, of past mistakes or failures. This "past focus" can ship wreck your athlete's performance before it even gets started.

A single positive thought about herself, her abilities and potential can truly hurtle her towards levels of success she never thought possible. If she can start to believe greater success is possible (and ultimately, with enough "right" thinking, believe her success is "probable") this will trigger a subtle shift in her subconscious mind and empower her towards an avalanche of positive thoughts that become her new dominant thought pattern.

Give your athlete the gift that will change her game forever!

As she takes this new approach to the field her successes will mount and those old negative files (thoughts) will be deleted forever from the hard drive between her ears! And it all starts with a single thought.

Your athlete's thoughts are powerful enough to make or break her level of success on the athletic field and in the classroom. The good news is that she always has a choice of what she thinks. After all, who else controls the inside of her head?

Is this process easy...no. It takes a recognition of what her current beliefs about herself are, and a commitment to changing those beliefs and the thoughts that ensue. It also takes having access to the proper mental skills tools and training.

A majority of elite amateur and professional athletes throughout history at one time or another struggled with limiting beliefs about themselves. However, with enough hard "mental work" over time they overcame these limitations and soared to greatness. Your athlete can do the same.

It all starts with a just a single thought. What could be simpler?

On Tuesday, December 27 we will be having a one day holiday sale of all of our Mental Skills training products at a whopping 40% discount. Look for the banner at the top right of the blog to get your one day savings. Give her the gift that will change her game in 2012 and forever...give her the Winner's Edge!

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How to Win the Tryout Game

This past weekend our travel organization held tryouts for our 12u, 14u and 16u spring 2012 teams. We had about 120 girls come out over two days hoping to make one of the six teams. The competition was pretty stiff and in choosing the teams last night we had to make some really tough decisions, including cutting some girls already in the organization.

As is always the case in a tryout scenario many girls are nervous and don't perform their best with the many coaches, peers and parents watching their every move. As coaches, unless we watched them play on another team or got a good report from a reliable source, all we have to go on is their tryout effort.

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As I observed these many young athletes I could instantly tell who was anxious. They would hurry their approach to the ball or the throw, and would have timing issues hitting off the machine. I could just see in many of the girls' eyes and body language how disappointed they were in their performances.

Now ours is one of the best organizations in southern California and it takes being a pretty good player to join us. However, I can't help but wonder if nerves cost several of these girls a shot with us.

Whether your athlete is trying out over the next few weeks or not until spring here are some tips to get her ready to play her best when it counts most:

1. Relax - this may sound easy, but in many ways tryouts are more stressful than games; particularly if it's for a team your athlete really wants to play for. Taking occasional deep breathes can help tremendously. Try to keep the conversation light on the drive to tryouts; do not set excessive expectations on your athlete as this will only serve to increase her anxiety and reduce her performance.

2. Monitor Her Thinking - it all starts between the ears. If she can focus on positive thoughts the moment she wakes up in the morning on tryout day, and maintain those thoughts all day long she will reduce her stress level. If she can recall a particular success or successes she has had on the field in the past she will increase her confidence level. If she thinks she "can" she will be more relaxed, allowing for a higher level of concentration and focus.

3. Expect Success - like #4 below if she expects herself to do well it will likely show in her body language and her performance. Expecting success is the result of self-confidence...which is the result of thinking right. If she tells herself she's gonna kill it at tryouts and can take the time to visualize her tryout performance, in advance, in as much detail as possible (using all her senses) her chances for success will skyrocket! If she works hard at the game she is entitled to success!

4. Look & Act Confident - one of the things coaches look for during tryouts is attitude and effort. A player who looks confident, is diving all over the field and just demonstrates a swagger of success gets our attention. If she looks like she belongs we will see her that way. Be verbal with the coaches and other girls...make us notice you...STAND OUT! Every coach wants to add a "difference maker" to the team. Show us leadership skills as well as athletic skills.

5. Have Fun - No matter what the competition level have fun! Playing the great game of fastpitch should first and foremost be a joy. Do your best, expect success and let it do what it's gonna do. In a tryout situation the player never knows what is going on behind the scenes; which positions the coaches are most interested in, if they need speed or power or defense. Therefore as a player take care of the factors you absolutely have control over: your effort, your attitude and your mental focus.

The bottom line is that a relaxed, confident and focused athlete will perform her best more often than not. Do your best to work with your athlete on her "tryout plan" to insure she brings her "A" game. Coaches love to see how an athlete performs under pressure and tryouts are a great opportunity to gauge that.

Nothing is sadder than a young athlete performing below her potential at a tryout. It's usually a one shot deal (like a job interview), so work diligently with her to prepare herself mentally for the big day. Just remember...this is a journey. If she doesn't do well at the tryout look at it as a learning experience for her. There is always tomorrow (sounds like a good theme for a song)!

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How Your Athlete Limits Her Success & Why

How good can your athlete be? How good does she want to be? These questions are simple yet powerful beyond your imagination.

You see I am of the belief that your athlete can be as good as she wants to be. But ultimately all that matters is what she believes, not what you or I believe for her. Your athlete's beliefs about herself will likely limit her success to a great degree. Let's find out why.

Any sport requires preparation and effort to be successful at it, and fastpitch softball is certainly no exception. To attain a level of mastery that will allow your athlete to be her best takes time and a special mental attitude to overcome the adversity, fatigue and pressures the game throws at her. All too often players limit themselves because their thinking acts like an invisible harness holding them back.

Limited thinking sounds like this:

• "I'd like to be good;" "I'm too tired to practice any more" 
• "The game is too hard;" "I'll never be as good as she is"
• "I'm not sure if I'll succeed;" "Goals...I don't need goals"
• "I'm not fast enough; "I'm not strong enough;" "I'm not good enough"

Deep down inside either your athlete believes she can or cannot achieve the goals she sets for herself (or the goals you or her coaches have set for her). If she believes she can't she will hesitate on the field believing she is not capable or worthy of success. She holds the key to the level of success she achieves. If she can capture just a glimpse of her future greatness and buy into it she can remove the shackles of her own limitations and begin the journey towards greatness.

Let's look at behaviors of a "No Limit" player that truly has no boundaries to her success:

1. Attitude - she believes she can be the best if she works hard enough. Moreover because of her "no limit" belief in her ability and herself she actually expects to succeed at a high level. She sees mistakes as part of the mastery process and pushes through adversity with a smile.

2. Work Ethic - because she believes she can be as good as she wants she has a crazy work ethic, and is driven to be her absolute best. She challenges herself to work harder physically and mentally each time she steps on the field, in the cage or gym. She pushes herself beyond fatigue and the limitations of others. She defines what is possible for her, and no one else.

3. Passion - she loves the game and as a result has no time reference to her training. She'll workout all day because she loves playing. To her mastering the game is a blast! This player is diving all over the field and is a perpetual sponge when it comes to learning the game from her coaches or through her own observations. Her desire and passion propel her to greatness!

4. Goals - the "no limit" athlete has specific goals that challenge her to get better in all parts of her game. She uses these goals as benchmarks to gauge her progress. These goals include conditioning, strength, mental skills and physical skills training. She is laser focused on her mission to be the best and nothing stands in her way.

5. Thinking - it always begins with her thoughts about herself and her self-image of what she believes is possible. If her thinking is distorted and limited so too will be her results. If she truly possesses "no limit" thinking she will "see" her greatness far in advance and expect that success as firmly as she believes Sunday follows Saturday. To her unlimited success is a mathematical certainty.

Ultimately if your athlete can summon the "no limit" belief system there truly is no limit to what she can achieve on the field. Will it be easy...absolutely not. But when she is tired or fatigued, or has just struck out or made an error that little voice inside her head will dictate what comes next. Either she will see it as a challenge and work harder, or her limiting beliefs will win out and she will be content to play at the level she is at.

As always...it is her choice for how much success she achieves.

The game is 90% mental. How much do you and your athlete invest in her mental game? Give her the gift this holiday season that will massively change her game in 2012 with The Game Changer Program: A Mental Skills Blueprint to Be the Best She Can Be.

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The Tim Tebow Effect and Fastpitch

By now most Americans have, not only, heard of Bronco quarterback Tim Tebow but also know of his amazing comebacks over the past several weeks that have transformed a bad Denver team to one likely headed for the NFL post season. Yet Tebow has the lowest completion % and fewest yards passed among all starting QBs. What he does have is 11 touchdown passes to just 2 interceptions and, most importantly, is 7-1 as a starter. The experts can't seem to explain how he and the Broncos are doing it with no less than seven consecutive 4th quarter or overtime comeback victories (around one loss to Detroit). Is it smoke and mirrors or loaves and fishes?

Here is what I think is the reason for Tebow and Denver's success and how it relates to your athlete and her team on the fastpitch softball diamond. With the Broncos and any team in any sport it all comes down to one thing...BELIEF. Belief is a powerful thing that can propel or destroy a player and a team's performance. As I write about often either you believe you can or believe you can't.

Tim Tebow

Since most games, particularly in softball, come down to a handful of key at bats or plays in the field which decide success or failure it is the athlete and the team that BELIEVES they will succeed and prevail that usually does. In the case of the Broncos not only do they believe they will come back and win every game their opponents believe it too! It is amazing how powerful positive thoughts and energy are, and how quickly they can cause a monumental shift in momentum; and it all starts with a firm belief that it is possible.

We know how strong Tim Tebow's faith is, and at some level that faith has solidified his belief in himself and his team. Tebow's teammates see and feel his belief in himself and in the team's success and they have now bought into it. A team that possesses good talent and great belief can beat anybody.

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As I tell my team all it takes is one person to decide she will do what it takes to win; to pump her team up, to dive for balls, to maintain positive "can do" thoughts for a shift to take place.  If one person on a team truly believes the game isn't over yet and keeps competing "miracles" can indeed happen. Tim Tebow is living proof of that.

Sports are overflowing with great and improbable comebacks on amazing plays that defy logic. But behind every great individual and team performance is an individual or individuals who believe it is possible, who transform the energy and momentum of the game by a single act (Dave Roberts' stolen base against the Yankees in the ALCS during the Red Sox' improbable '04 World Series win).

Success is a choice and it always begins with a belief that success is possible and (in the case of the Broncos and Tebow) probable-- no matter what the situation looks like.

Your athlete can be a game changer in many ways, but the easiest and most powerful way is for her to up her game in the "belief" department, being the Tim Tebow on her team that refuses to accept defeat or failure, that leads by example, inspires others to be great simply because she expects success for herself and her teammates...by a relentless drive to compete.

It's the holidays, so give your athlete and yourself a softball gift that will truly change her game forever: The Game Changer Program: A Mental Skills Blueprint to Make Her the Best She Can Be. For less than the cost of a one hour hitting or pitching lesson you'll get over 6 hours of powerful mental skills audio lessons, plus John Kelly's hot new book, How She Thinks is How She Plays, and many more valuable bonus products!

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Success is a Choice. Find Out Why

In a previous post I talked about how success leaves clue, and it does. But the far bigger consideration for your athlete is that success is a choice. You may say, John...of course my daughter wants to be successful in softball. Well she may well "want" to be a success, but does she makes the choices that it will take for her to truly be a success...to become a consistent peak performer on the field? Let's find out.

These choices will determine whether your athlete will be average, good or great. Ultimately these choices must come from her and the results, her performance, will absolutely reflect those choices. So here are five areas in which your athlete's choices are critical to just how far she will go:

1. Effort - certainly effort is always a choice. To a coach nothing is more disappointing and frustrating than seeing an athlete unwilling to leave it all on the field. Good players work hard in practice, taking 25 ground balls. Great players stay late and ask the coach to hit her another 50 grounders. To be a success requires maximum effort all the time. There is no guarantee in the results but her effort will always put her at the top of the list.

2. Attitude - attitude is always a choice and the proper "mental" attitude is necessary to overcome the inevitable adversity the game with throw at your athlete. An attitude of success is also engaging in the right thoughts, expecting success and doing the mental work to come ready to play. The right attitude looks like acknowledging that mistakes are a natural part of the game and an opportunity to learn and get better. The right attitude looks like being a leader and always supporting teammates and respecting the game.

3. Desire - desire is not commonly associated with success, but deep down having a high level of desire is what motivates your athlete to make the right choices that will all but guarantee her success. Desire looks like digging deep after a long day of practice or games to continue to give 100% effort. Desire means loving the game, playing with a smile on her face, with passion, with hustle. Desire becomes infectious on a team and any coach loves any athlete that plays with a high level of desire. Desire is the fuel for the intensity it takes to become a champion.

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4. Focus - this can be a hard one for young athletes; particularly girls who love to chat it up early and often on the field. However, your athlete's ability to understand and implement laser focus and concentration is the single biggest choice she will make as an athlete. The game of fastpitch softball is too hard and too fast to not demonstrate focus. And this choice of focus starts in practice. If your athlete and her team are not exhibiting focus during practice my guess is they won't be able to during games. Focus is the ability to block out the world and have the present moment awareness necessary to successfully complete the task at hand.

5. Goals - goal setting and creating a definitive "plan" for success is absolutely a choice. For younger players this choice might look like committing to a certain number of hours of practice, or swings in the cage, or pitches per week. For older players it looks like setting specific goals for both physical and mental training, and writing in her softball journal to measure her progress towards achieving her goals. Success is not an accident. having a plan and goals means approaching success by design and not default. Having a clear road map is both smart and necessary to become great.

The path to success is easy to identify, as I have given you a glimpse of in this post. It is, however, much harder to implement. It takes making the right choices, which may be difficult for your athlete some days or all the time. However once she recognizes that she does have the power to dictate her softball destiny through the choices she makes your athlete will be empowered to seize her opportunity for greatness! Carpe Diem (seize the day).

The game is 90% mental. How much do you invest in her mental game? Give her The Game Changer Program...it will change her game forever!

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Impatient Parents: Success is in the Journey

I decided to throw a little "zen" at you today as we start a new month. But don't worry...this is still a fastpitch softball post!

I was at our travel organizational coaches meeting this week for our eight teams and a common concern among the coaches was the parents who were constantly complaining about x, y, z. You know...questioning their daughter's playing time, their daughter's position, questioning the batting order (why "lesser" players were batting higher), questioning the coaches' strategic moves during a game, questioning pitch calls...

Our travel organization is among the best in the nation at creating champions and getting our girls athletic scholarships into big time universities, according to the Triple Crown Sports/USA Softball polls, and still some of our parents aren't happy.

The question our General Manager asks these parents when faced with criticism or complaint: "Is your daughter getting better?" Invariably the parent has to admit that she is.

You see mastery of a very difficult game like fastpitch softball takes time; it is a journey that cannot be completed overnight. For parents of athletes who are 10-14 years old, don't worry...there is still plenty of time for your daughter to develop her game and the right college coaches to find her. Being impatient about her development isn't the answer. In fact it is probably hindering her development through the added pressure she feels from you; not to mention alienating yourself with her coaches can't help her either.

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To be fair to all parties concerned the first question you need to ask yourself, as objectively as possible, is whether or not your athlete is playing on the right team. Here are a few issues to consider:

• Are the coaches qualified (not just their skill level but are the practices challenging and efficient)?
• Does the coach possess a positive attitude that gets the most out of his/her players?
• Is your athlete getting playing time (or is not showing clear sign of improvement)?
• Is the team competitive with players that challenge each other to get better?
• Does the team play in competitive tournaments against better teams?

Ultimately the team your athlete plays on must be a good fit with her skill level, her motivation for playing the game (and goals), and your "feel" for the big picture of her team and how you think she is progressing. My only suggestion is to be patient and not expect perfection or miracles tomorrow.

The bottom line is that if you truly believe your athlete is in the right place to further her softball development then chill! Remember, good things come to those who wait, right? Your athlete will master this game on her own timetable, not yours. Trust your athlete's coaches and her own efforts to make her a better player. Like we tell our 100+ players, "just strive to get a little better each day."

Impatient parents who heap massive expectations on their kids are really causing just the opposite of what they want from their athlete. The loud parent who is always critical of the coaches, the umpires, their child, and the hamburger from the snack bar will create high levels of anxiety in their athlete which will diminish performance in a nano second. Players either become embarrassed by their parent's behavior or cower to the impending ass chewing out they will get after a sub-par performance. Either way being impatient with your athlete's development will lead to less focus, less success and less joy for playing the game.

As well, parents comments during the game to other parents, coaches, umpires and players can great serve to undermine the team and overall parental chemistry and harmony. If you want to coach then sign up...otherwise please just enjoy the game.

Remember, the success for your athlete is truly found in her journey; you are just along for the ride, and to cover the expenses of the journey of course!

The game is 90% mental. How much are you and your athlete investing into her mental skills training? Change her game forever with The Game Changer Program: A Mental Skills Blueprint to Make Her the Best She Can Be. Over 6 hours of mental skills audio lessons plus John Kelly's new 174 page ebook, How She Thinks is How She Plays and much more for less than the cost of a one hour hitting lesson!

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5 Keys to Make Her Stand Out From the Crowd

Whether your athlete's next level is college, high school, travel or all stars like all parents you want her to stand out from the crowd; to be noticed and given the opportunity she deserves.

I have been an all star and travel coach evaluating players for over a decade and there is no question certain athletes stand out from the pack. I have also spoken to numerous high school and college softball coaches about what makes an athlete stand out for them.

Here are the 5 Keys to Make Your Athlete Stand Out from the Crowd:

1. Hustle - a given but not seen as often as you'd think. Nothing peaks a coach's interest more than maximum effort. When an athlete hesitates or holds back it is an indication that she does not trust herself or she's simply afraid --not endearing traits to a coach. And to a coach effort is always a choice, so if a player "chooses" not to give 100% in a game or tryout I watch I'm going to wonder if or when she will ever do it? Hustle demonstrates commitment to the team.

Here are specific things your athlete can do to demonstrate hustle:

a. Diving for balls...get dirty and make a play!
b. Sliding at every base
c. Running out every ball as hard as possible
d. Running the bases at full speed
e. Hustling on and off the field every time
f.  Using her voice to call balls or help teammates on the field and in the dugout

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2. Attitude - this may be a tough key to measure in a limited exposure scenario, which is why college coaches prefer to evaluate a prospect several times. As one top 10 coach told me, "We can teach them how to hit but we can't teach a good attitude." Again, attitude is a choice that like hustle is easy to notice.

Here are specific things your athlete can do to show she's got a great attitude:

a. Smile - it may seem simple but coaches love a kid who loves the game and shows it
b. Encourage teammates
c. Be vocal in the dugout
d. Be the first one to grab equipment after the game, or clean the dugout
e. Be respectful 100% of the time to her coaches, umpires, teammates and parents (believe   me...the college coaches ALWAYS watch this to determine attitude)
f.  Body language - don't slump the shoulders or kick the dirt after a strike out or error (a killer)!

3. Intelligence - yes, softball IQ is really easy and quick for a coach to judge. A player that demonstrates questionable decision making will not stay at the top of the list very long. Certainly your athlete's grasp of the game is relative to her experience and quality of coaching she has received. However, when a player shows superior intelligence in making the right decisions on the field all coaches write down a "plus" next to her name...I guarantee it. face it...dumb plays lose games, it's that simple.

Here are specific things your athlete can do to demonstrate her intelligence:

a. Make quick decisions - holding the ball and not knowing where to throw it on defense is a huge black mark.
b. Understand the strike zone - know the count and don't swing at bad pitches, particularly when she is ahead in the count
c. Understand the game situation - know what her job is each at bat, whether it is to advance the runner or drive her in
d. Know how many outs there are - it looks really bad when the pitcher or any player on defense (or on the bases!) forgets how many outs there are. That's an immediate cross off the list move!
e. Know the game situation - where are the runners and what will she do with the ball if hit to her?

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4. Concentration - this is HUGE for coaches. Softball is a game won or lost based on a team's ability to execute simple tasks successfully. If your athlete can't execute a simple sacrifice bunt or spaces out fielding a routine grounder (see Key #3) due to a lack of mental focus she's not going to make it to the next level. If she can't summon 10 seconds of concentration for each pitch maybe she's playing the wrong sport.

Here are specific things your athlete can do to demonstrate her concentration:

a. Execute...make plays!

b. Battle when down in the count. A seven or eight pitch at bat gets a coach's attention.

c. Play consistently, particularly when fatigued or playing in adverse weather.

d. Coming through in the clutch. This takes tremendous concentration and is a guaranteed "top of the list" key.

5. Overcoming Adversity - because softball is a game built on failure and adversity every coach will evaluate whether or not your athlete can rebound from a "smack across the face" in the form of a strike out, poor at bat, error or tough inning in the circle. This is where body language comes in. A player that demonstrates an ability to frame adversity as a learning opportunity and a challenge excites all coaches. Conversely a player who takes a bad at bat into the field, or an error in the field to her next at bat does not demonstrate the mental toughness top coaches are looking for.

Here are specific things your athlete can do to show she can handle adversity:

a. Run back to the dugout after a strikeout (as opposed to the slow moping walk)

b. Show determination to come back stronger the next time

c. Exhibit positive body language (coaches all look for this after adversity hits)

d. Never argue with an umpire's call (a killer)

e. Work harder in practice to get better in the areas she needs help (college coaches will ask travel or high school coaches about a prospect's work ethic during practices)

So there you go...five keys to make her stand out from the crowd, from a coach's perspective. It's time for your athlete to get to work!

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Why Excessive Expectations Can Damage Her Success

Your athlete is likely under the burden of excessive expectations every time she steps onto the field, and these expectations can strangle and sabotage her performance without you or her even knowing it.

Expectations can be the 700 pound gorilla in the room and here is why. In a game that is built on failure fastpitch softball will inevitably kick your athlete in the stomach and test her ability to overcome adversity. Expectations that are unrealistic can be very damaging to her self-confidence and disrupt her performance by causing undue stress and anxiety. Let's look at the three most common forms of expectations your athlete may fall prey to:

• Parental Expectations - the most common and damaging for any player. Children naturally want to please their parents so excessive and unrealistic expectations placed on a child can cause her to try too hard causing mistakes. Mistakes cause increased ire by the parents and the vicious cycle of expectations accelerates further damaging the athlete's performance.
• Coach Expectations - often as damaging as those of parents because they likely rear their ugly head during the game and right after a mistake or poor at bat when a coach is most likely to use negative verbal or non-verbal communication to express disapproval of the athlete's performance. Many coaches are prone to expect perfection from their teams and players...which is a losing proposition as no team or player that has ever played the game is perfect.
• Player's Expectations- Certainly having an expectation for success is healthy for your athlete. expectation. After all she works hard at her game and thus should expect a reward for her efforts. However many players suffer from perfectionsim in which they expect that their game will always be without mistakes, outs or hits (if a pitcher). Thus every game is a set up for frustration, anger or sadness. This behavior and thought process is extremely dangerous and can have profound negative impact on all areas of her life. 

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These three sources of expectations individually can cause your athlete to fall short of her performance goals. Collectively they can turn your athlete into a nervous wreck incapable of the mental focus and self-confidence necessary to succeed at the difficult game of fastpitch softball.

As a parent of a softball player and a coach (game and mental skills) I highly recommend that you be honest in assessing your own expectations for your athlete. The pressure you may be putting on her may be an unconscious one, yet she feels it just the same. In my new book, How She Thinks Is How She Plays, I cover in great detail just how difficult a game fastpitch softball really is and how excessive expectations act to diminsh your athlete's game, not enhance it.

Suffice it to say that a hitter has less than 1/3 of one second to determine the ball's velocity, location and movement in a strike zone that measures about six square feet. Is it tough to hit a ball...you bet it is!

My suggestion is to also have a discussion with your athlete to determine what expectations she has for her own performance to determine whether these expectations are healthy or unrealistic. Moreover softball should be a fun activity for your athlete where she can learn the many positive life lessons sports can teach her. Burdensome expectations only serve to make those opportunities for growth and joy blurred and unrecognizable.

Learn more about Winner's Edge Softball and the 21 Mental Performance Killers that sabotage your athlete's success and efforts to become the consistent peak performer college coaches want.

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