It's Okay to Celebrate a Job Well Done

For most of us days turn into weeks and months speed into years. Where did the time go? The busy lifestyle of the 21st Century leaves us perpetually behind and often breathless! Most times we don't stop to smell the roses or acknowledge a job well done...particularly when we are the one's who did the job well!

Trapped in future or past focus robs us of the power found in the present moment. We quickly move from one task to the next rather than stopping for the briefest of time to appreciate our efforts such. Acknowledging our successes can be the springboard to even more successes.

The same challenge can befall young athletes just as profoundly. With a breakneck schedule many kids don't have the luxury of time to reflect on their achievements. As well whatever successes these athletes produce is considered but a stepping stone to even greater achievement. In other words, "Great job kid, what's your next trick?" Youngsters need to be able to feel good about their efforts in both the classroom and the athletic field in the wake of burdensome expectations.

As adults we need to recognize and praise such great effort to help build a solid self-esteem and self-image in our kids. Young people today are asked to play at a much higher level than most of us were twenty or thirty years ago. I personally marvel at how good the 14u softball players are that I coach, or the 18u players in our organization. These girls would have mercied my high school baseball team for sure!

Let them have their day in the sun, a break from the monotony of their nano second world. After all, it's okay to celebrate a job well done...you should try it on yourself sometime soon!

With a great sense of pride and relief I am happy to announce that my new book, How She Thinks is How She Plays, is now available as are my other new programs, The Game Changer and The Secret Weapon. Please check them out today and tell your softball friends about them as well. I truly believe this information will make a huge impact on your athlete's softball future!

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Choosing the Best Team for Your Athlete

I am often asked by parents whose athlete is making the jump into travel or competitive softball what factors they should consider in deciding which team to place their athlete on. The answer would be the same if your athlete currently plays travel and is considering making a change. Here are what I would consider the most important factors to consider:

1. Assess her motivation for playing the game. Does she like softball or love softball? Is she playing to get better or playing for social reasons or simply to have fun? What are her (and your) goals for playing the game: college, high school, travel, recreational only? How hard is she willing to work to get better?

2. Assess as objectively as possible her softball and athletic skill levels. Does she possess mad skills or does she not? How does she compare to other players? What are her strengths and weaknesses as a player?

3. Assess, as a parent or guardian, how much of a time and financial commitment you are prepared to make to your athlete's softball activities? Travel or competitive softball entails endless weekends of three to five games per day in far flung locations when leaving home before dawn and returning home after dark are not uncommon. The average family spends several thousand dollars each year for the overall cost of participation (dues, travel costs, private lessons, equipment)

4. Attend several tryouts and do your homework on the strengths and weaknesses of any team or organization you're considering joining. Go watch some of their games to get a better idea of how the coaches coach, how they utilize their players, how competent their players are? Do they have fun playing?

Giveyour athlete the gift that will change her game forever!

5. If your athlete is a specialist like a pitcher, catcher or slapper be mindful of how many other players that play that position are on that team. Will your athlete get the opportunity to play or will she "ride the pine?"

6. If your athlete is a position player assess what size roster a prospective team usually carries. A roster of 12 players versus 14 or 15 will likely mean more playing time for your athlete.

7. What is the culture of the team or organization? Is the team coached by parents with daughters on the team or is the team run by professional coaches without a child playing? Does the team or organization make a commitment to player development at the younger ages, and have a reputation for building strong players and teams? Does the team or organization stress winning at all costs? Do players on this team stick with the team or do they have massive turnover every season?

8. What is the team or organization's track record in having their players recruited by top colleges (if that is your goal)? Do they attend the right showcase tournaments to give your athlete the best exposure possible? Do they have contacts at the college level to help promote their players?

Assessing all these different factors should help you to place your athlete on the right team that will be a good fit for everyone. Take your time and check out as many teams as you can before making a commitment. Remember, softball should be first and foremost a fun activity for your athlete and not a job...so choose her team wisely!

To learn more about your athlete can conquer the 21 Mental Performance Killers that sabotage her success check out John's new Game Changer Program: A Mental Skills Blueprint for Making Her the Best She Can Be.

Only two more days until John's new book, How She Thinks is How She Plays is released!

Be sure to subscribe to John's weekly Softball Smarts Tips (now on this page at the top of the right column) for fresh Mental Skills insights, strategies, tools and tips that will make her the best she can be!

For more info and free Mental Skills resources visit us at John Michael Kelly Sports.

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That Comfy Couch Needs to Go!

Do you have a favorite item of furniture in your house, one that is super comfortable? This is likely the place you go when you want to relax after a long day or on a lazy Sunday morning to read the newspaper, a good book or watch a little TV. I call it the comfort zone; a place most of us would rather spend more time in if we could.

In truth comfort zones in life are a mixed blessing. Unfortunately for us to grow we need to push beyond those familiar comforts and be willing to risk being uncomfortable, making mistakes and occasionally falling flat on our faces. If we do not we can get trapped in our comfort zone to the point where our favorite chair becomes bumpy and tattered.

For your athlete comfort zones can definitely limit her growth, be it making new friends, trying a new activity or new food, or taking a challenging class at school.

Now I'm not suggesting that you or your athlete give up your favorite pair of old shoes, but in the game of fastpitch in the ultra competitive environment of youth sports in America today she will need to learn to be comfortable being uncomfortable.

For most young athletes in the early years they play in their local recreational league with their friends and classmates. As they progress and get better many start playing at the All Star level, with a new coach, new teammates and some travel while playing against teams from different cities. The next step is travel ball where your athlete may not know anyone on the team, travel to far flung places every weekend to play multiple games, arising before dawn to hit the road.

At this stage she may be asked to play different positions, bat in different spots in the lineup or maybe not be a starter at all. All in all the fairy tale comfort zone of her early years playing sports is but a memory. If she is not able to cope with all these changes in her softball world she will have difficulty playing well and having fun playing.

For those parents who feel the need to team hop on an annual basis your athlete is thrown out of her new comfort zone before the paint dries! All in all playing youth sports today sometimes looks more like a job or tour in the military than it does having fun. But in an era of specialization your athlete must travel down this path of change to play for the best teams and best coaches, and to be seen by the right scouts by playing in the right showcases.

In the big picture becoming comfortable with her discomfort is likely a good life lesson for your athlete to learn, however it would be far more enjoyable sometimes to just curl up on that comfy couch to watch Sponge Bob wouldn't it?

Learn more about how mental skills mastery will have the recruiters knocking down your door at Winner's Edge Softball.

Get John's latest book, How She Thinks is How She Plays and must have Game Changer Program: A Mental Skills Blueprint to Make Her the Best She Can Be -- on sale October 5!

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Some Days You Just Don't Bring Your "A" Game

A big part of being human is that we are all unique individuals with unique thoughts and emotions 24/7. Because we are not robots we are all prone to having off days, days when we just don't bring our "A" game to work, to school or to the ball field.

My 14u travel team played our first games of the fall season this past weekend and our hitters were predictably rusty after a two month layoff from seeing live "game" pitching. As per usual many of them were frustrated with their results. However I considered those games to be spring training for the girls and, like early spring training at the Major League level, the pitchers had the advantage.

As I talk about it length in my new book How She Thinks is How She Plays the secret to your athlete's success is her ability to bounce back from adversity, or results that fall short of her expectations. In a game filled with so many variables that are outside of any player's control fastpitch softball will get your athlete some days. On those days when she's not bringing her "A" game, for whatever reason, it's vitally important that she be able to frame it as such: "The game got me today, but tomorrow I'll get the game." These kinds of days can be considered investment days as they provide for greater learning opportunities.

I made a point to remind my players of that last Saturday, to recognize that they had not seen game pitching in a while and to be patient with themselves as they got they swings back to normal over the next few weeks. I think it took a little of the pressure off them and I even saw a few smiles.

Give your athlete the gift that will change her game forever!

The worst thing possible on the days your athlete does not bring her "A" game is for her to get down on herself and judge herself as being a poor hitter or poor player. Certainly she should always be learning as to what to work on to get better, but to judge herself on a snapshot of her overall performance is both unhealthy and unfair.

On the days we don't bring our "A" game we can be filled with frustration and disappointment, but that's just part of the human condition; we ALL have those kinds of days. Hopefully they are few and far between. Well the same is true for your athlete. There will be game days after she's getting over a cold, or after a tough week at school, after a poor night's sleep, or after a full moon...when she doesn't have the energy, focus or results you both would like. However, allow her to be human too and just chalk it up as one of those days when she just didn't bring her "A" game. Tomorrow will be a new day when all things are possible!

After several technical roadblocks John's book How She Thinks is How She Plays and The Game Changer Program should both be available for purchase by tomorrow, October 4.

Check out this blog in a new format launched by Blogger...it's very cool! Just roll your cursor over the word "Magazine" on the far left side of the black bar and a drop down menu will give you seven options of how you can view my blog.

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