How to Build Rock Solid Self-Confidence

It's no secret that a self-confident player performs better on the softball field. In general a self-confident person is far more effective performing any activity. For a young person, however, the task of building rock solid self-confidence can be a challenge and a frustration, particularly when it comes to fastpitch softball.

Softball is a game built on failure and adversity where self-confidence is like the chicken and the egg analogy; what comes first self-confidence or success? Certainly once an athlete possesses a solid foundation of self-confidence while playing the game consistent success is more likely to follow. However, without a track record of success self-confidence can be extremely difficult to attain.

As a coach and softball parent it is most frustrating to see self-confidence come and go in young athletes like a mirage in the desert. In this game success can be fleeting in the face of the inevitable kicks in the stomach the game is guaranteed to administer to your athlete.

So how can your athlete develop and maintain a high level of self-confidence that will act like a shield against the game's adversity and allow her to become a consistent peak performer?

1. Change Her Beliefs: What does she believe about herself and softball? Her beliefs will determine her level of success. Does she believe she is a good hitter or not? Does she believe others are better and more worthy of success than she is? Does she believe she's not fast enough, or strong enough, or quick enough to succeed? If a pitcher does she believe she doesn't throw hard enough to succeed? These limiting beliefs will rear their ugly head after adversity and failure hit, reinforcing her distorted beliefs and leading to more failure.

2. Change Her Perceptions: How does she perceive the game and her results? Is she effort driven or results driven? Does she judge her performance harshly? Does she expect to be perfect? Does she spiral downward emotionally after one mistake? Distorted perceptions of performance will kill future performance. If she recognizes that adversity is part of the game and can frame every mistake as a learning opportunity to get better she will free herself from self-judgment and begin the process of greater building self-confidence.

3. Change Her Thoughts: Her thoughts are a direct result of her beliefs. She has over 50,000 unique thoughts each and every day. Does she tell herself she can or she can't? Distorted thinking can lead to fear, anxiety, frustration, anger and sadness. Self-confident thoughts are empowering and energizing while un-confident thoughts are destructive and energy draining. Building rock solid self-confidence happens one day at a time like building a brick wall. If she can re-align her beliefs and begin engaging in "can do" thinking her self-confidence will slowly but surely grow strong.

4. Change Her Actions: Once her beliefs and thoughts are properly aligned with her goals of success in the game she now needs to demonstrate her self-confidence on the field, at practice and games. A self-confident player looks the part with positive body language, positive self-talk, running on and off the field and to and from the batter's box. Self-confidence is definitely a state of mind, but it must ultimately translate to successful actions on the field.

Ultimately building rock solid self-confidence starts and is maintained by proper thinking. Beliefs and perceptions must be questioned for their accuracy or distortion. Right thinking then will lead to a more relaxed approach for your athlete, yielding far better results. You see, a relaxed and calm athlete is a self-confident athlete. A relaxed athlete can exert 100% mental focus because she does not have negative and fearful thoughts bombarding her head.

As one success leads to another your athlete will steadily build her self-confidence. That combined with continuous mental skills training will keep her confidence rock solid --able to withstand even the toughest on the field adversities. Remember, mental toughness is a choice.

Self-confidence isn't a switch your athlete flips on like the light in her bedroom but rather a process that takes time and concerted effort to develop and maintain. With proper thinking she can become the best she can be and love playing the game!

Watch John Kelly explain how to skyrocket your athlete's game day performance HERE.


Visit us on Facebook!

Follow @KellyEdge

Wanna Get Better? Change Your Approach

There is an old saying that defines insanity as "doing the same thing over and over again, yet expecting different results." This line of thinking definitely applies on the softball field.

Success in a difficult game like fastpitch softball requires that teams and individual players make adjustments in every aspect of the game if necessary. And, as always, it starts with her thinking.

Here are some examples of what I'm talking about:

1. The pitcher keeps throwing the ball on the outside corner (or inside corner) but the batter refuses to swing the bat,  finding herself in an 0-2 and 1-2 count all the time, leading to a ton of strikeouts. Unless she makes a conscious effort of adjusting her thinking she will likely continue getting the same results.

CAUSE: Likely she won't swing at that pitch because she believes she can't hit it (little if any confidence in doing so). She fears failure and the embarrassment of looking bad swinging.

SOLUTION: Trust herself to start swinging at the outside pitch, each time increasing her comfort level in doing so. At a certain point (with much practice) she will welcome the outside pitch as her self-confidence soars.

2. The player who refuses to dive for a ball, causing her coaches to question her commitment and desire; not to mention it costing her team runs.

CAUSE: Again, fear and lack of self-confidence win again. She is either afraid of making a mistake and missing the ball (incurring the wrath of coach or parent), looking bad in the process (embarrassment), or hurting herself (because she's never gotten comfortable with the proper diving form).

SOLUTION: Recognize her fear(s) and the fact that most coaches will reward the effort regardless of the results. Embarrassment must be overcome and the pain of diving can be solved by practice and increased mental toughness.

3. The pitcher refuses to throw a certain pitch on a certain count (maybe a changeup behind in the count) even though her coach reasons the hitter is swinging early and will likely never hit that pitch. She shakes off the catcher, throws something different or executes the pitch poorly.

CAUSE: Again, lack of self-confidence in throwing a certain pitch, fear of the pitch being hit, the embarrassment of looking bad throwing that pitch. Maybe a touch of stubbornness thrown in for good measure.

SOLUTION: Obviously more practice mastering the pitch, but also a willingness to step outside her comfort zone and trust herself to execute. If she thinks she can't she likely won't.

Most failure on the softball field is caused by two things: hesitation due to lack of trust or self-confidence at key, pivotal times of the game; whether batting, fielding, pitching or base running...or due to lack of mental focus and concentration (being distracted or spacing out too much).

To become a consistent peak performer your athlete must be supremely focused in the present moment allowing herself to react without hesitation. The game of fastpitch softball is too fast for her to think about whether she should or shouldn't in the split second she has to react. Her thinking must come well in advance to the moment of truth, cultivated in practice and in her mind creating a solid foundation of self-confidence which makes reactions quicker and results better.

As coaches and parents we get frustrated watching players and teams seemingly make the same mistakes over and over again. Unless she makes the mental adjustments that will improve her self-confidence and her performance the same results will keep showing up like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day!

If your athlete lacks the rock solid self-confidence to make the adjustments necessary to become the consistent peak performer top coaches want on their team the best place to start is The Game Changer Program: A Mental Skills Blueprint to Make Her the Best She Can Be. This multimedia fastpitch softball specific program contains over 6 hours of audio lessons, plus John Kelly's new 174 page ebook, How She Thinks is How She Plays and many other bonuses...all for less than a one hour hitting lesson. The game is 90% mental. How much is your athlete investing in her mental game?

Follow @KellyEdge

Impatient Parents: Success is in the Journey

I decided to throw a little "zen" at you today as we start a new month. But don't worry...this is still a fastpitch softball post!

I was at our travel organizational coaches meeting this week for our eight teams and a common concern among the coaches was the parents who were constantly complaining about x, y, z. You know...questioning their daughter's playing time, their daughter's position, questioning the batting order (why "lesser" players were batting higher), questioning the coaches' strategic moves during a game, questioning pitch calls...

Our travel organization is among the best in the nation at creating champions and getting our girls athletic scholarships into big time universities, according to the Triple Crown Sports/USA Softball polls, and still some of our parents aren't happy.

The question our General Manager asks these parents when faced with criticism or complaint: "Is your daughter getting better?" Invariably the parent has to admit that she is.

You see mastery of a very difficult game like fastpitch softball takes time; it is a journey that cannot be completed overnight. For parents of athletes who are 10-14 years old, don't worry...there is still plenty of time for your daughter to develop her game and the right college coaches to find her. Being impatient about her development isn't the answer. In fact it is probably hindering her development through the added pressure she feels from you; not to mention alienating yourself with her coaches can't help her either.

Give your athlete the gift that will change her game forever!

To be fair to all parties concerned the first question you need to ask yourself, as objectively as possible, is whether or not your athlete is playing on the right team. Here are a few issues to consider:

• Are the coaches qualified (not just their skill level but are the practices challenging and efficient)?
• Does the coach possess a positive attitude that gets the most out of his/her players?
• Is your athlete getting playing time (or is not showing clear sign of improvement)?
• Is the team competitive with players that challenge each other to get better?
• Does the team play in competitive tournaments against better teams?

Ultimately the team your athlete plays on must be a good fit with her skill level, her motivation for playing the game (and goals), and your "feel" for the big picture of her team and how you think she is progressing. My only suggestion is to be patient and not expect perfection or miracles tomorrow.

The bottom line is that if you truly believe your athlete is in the right place to further her softball development then chill! Remember, good things come to those who wait, right? Your athlete will master this game on her own timetable, not yours. Trust your athlete's coaches and her own efforts to make her a better player. Like we tell our 100+ players, "just strive to get a little better each day."

Impatient parents who heap massive expectations on their kids are really causing just the opposite of what they want from their athlete. The loud parent who is always critical of the coaches, the umpires, their child, and the hamburger from the snack bar will create high levels of anxiety in their athlete which will diminish performance in a nano second. Players either become embarrassed by their parent's behavior or cower to the impending ass chewing out they will get after a sub-par performance. Either way being impatient with your athlete's development will lead to less focus, less success and less joy for playing the game.

As well, parents comments during the game to other parents, coaches, umpires and players can great serve to undermine the team and overall parental chemistry and harmony. If you want to coach then sign up...otherwise please just enjoy the game.

Remember, the success for your athlete is truly found in her journey; you are just along for the ride, and to cover the expenses of the journey of course!

The game is 90% mental. How much are you and your athlete investing into her mental skills training? Change her game forever with The Game Changer Program: A Mental Skills Blueprint to Make Her the Best She Can Be. Over 6 hours of mental skills audio lessons plus John Kelly's new 174 page ebook, How She Thinks is How She Plays and much more for less than the cost of a one hour hitting lesson!

Please visit us on Facebook and "Like" us!


Follow @KellyEdge

5 Keys to Make Her Stand Out From the Crowd

Whether your athlete's next level is college, high school, travel or all stars like all parents you want her to stand out from the crowd; to be noticed and given the opportunity she deserves.

I have been an all star and travel coach evaluating players for over a decade and there is no question certain athletes stand out from the pack. I have also spoken to numerous high school and college softball coaches about what makes an athlete stand out for them.

Here are the 5 Keys to Make Your Athlete Stand Out from the Crowd:

1. Hustle - a given but not seen as often as you'd think. Nothing peaks a coach's interest more than maximum effort. When an athlete hesitates or holds back it is an indication that she does not trust herself or she's simply afraid --not endearing traits to a coach. And to a coach effort is always a choice, so if a player "chooses" not to give 100% in a game or tryout I watch I'm going to wonder if or when she will ever do it? Hustle demonstrates commitment to the team.

Here are specific things your athlete can do to demonstrate hustle:

a. Diving for balls...get dirty and make a play!
b. Sliding at every base
c. Running out every ball as hard as possible
d. Running the bases at full speed
e. Hustling on and off the field every time
f.  Using her voice to call balls or help teammates on the field and in the dugout

Give her the gift of confidence that will change her game forever!

2. Attitude - this may be a tough key to measure in a limited exposure scenario, which is why college coaches prefer to evaluate a prospect several times. As one top 10 coach told me, "We can teach them how to hit but we can't teach a good attitude." Again, attitude is a choice that like hustle is easy to notice.

Here are specific things your athlete can do to show she's got a great attitude:

a. Smile - it may seem simple but coaches love a kid who loves the game and shows it
b. Encourage teammates
c. Be vocal in the dugout
d. Be the first one to grab equipment after the game, or clean the dugout
e. Be respectful 100% of the time to her coaches, umpires, teammates and parents (believe   me...the college coaches ALWAYS watch this to determine attitude)
f.  Body language - don't slump the shoulders or kick the dirt after a strike out or error (a killer)!

3. Intelligence - yes, softball IQ is really easy and quick for a coach to judge. A player that demonstrates questionable decision making will not stay at the top of the list very long. Certainly your athlete's grasp of the game is relative to her experience and quality of coaching she has received. However, when a player shows superior intelligence in making the right decisions on the field all coaches write down a "plus" next to her name...I guarantee it. face it...dumb plays lose games, it's that simple.

Here are specific things your athlete can do to demonstrate her intelligence:

a. Make quick decisions - holding the ball and not knowing where to throw it on defense is a huge black mark.
b. Understand the strike zone - know the count and don't swing at bad pitches, particularly when she is ahead in the count
c. Understand the game situation - know what her job is each at bat, whether it is to advance the runner or drive her in
d. Know how many outs there are - it looks really bad when the pitcher or any player on defense (or on the bases!) forgets how many outs there are. That's an immediate cross off the list move!
e. Know the game situation - where are the runners and what will she do with the ball if hit to her?

Enjoy FREE Audio Lesson from the

Sports Confidence Blueprint program below!

 

4. Concentration - this is HUGE for coaches. Softball is a game won or lost based on a team's ability to execute simple tasks successfully. If your athlete can't execute a simple sacrifice bunt or spaces out fielding a routine grounder (see Key #3) due to a lack of mental focus she's not going to make it to the next level. If she can't summon 10 seconds of concentration for each pitch maybe she's playing the wrong sport.

Here are specific things your athlete can do to demonstrate her concentration:

a. Execute...make plays!

b. Battle when down in the count. A seven or eight pitch at bat gets a coach's attention.

c. Play consistently, particularly when fatigued or playing in adverse weather.

d. Coming through in the clutch. This takes tremendous concentration and is a guaranteed "top of the list" key.

5. Overcoming Adversity - because softball is a game built on failure and adversity every coach will evaluate whether or not your athlete can rebound from a "smack across the face" in the form of a strike out, poor at bat, error or tough inning in the circle. This is where body language comes in. A player that demonstrates an ability to frame adversity as a learning opportunity and a challenge excites all coaches. Conversely a player who takes a bad at bat into the field, or an error in the field to her next at bat does not demonstrate the mental toughness top coaches are looking for.

Here are specific things your athlete can do to show she can handle adversity:

a. Run back to the dugout after a strikeout (as opposed to the slow moping walk)

b. Show determination to come back stronger the next time

c. Exhibit positive body language (coaches all look for this after adversity hits)

d. Never argue with an umpire's call (a killer)

e. Work harder in practice to get better in the areas she needs help (college coaches will ask travel or high school coaches about a prospect's work ethic during practices)

So there you go...five keys to make her stand out from the crowd, from a coach's perspective. It's time for your athlete to get to work!

*******************************
**Give your athlete and his/her team the gift of self-confidence and peak performance with The Sports Confidence Blueprint program! On sale for only $59.97...full of a ton of mental performance resources!

 

Check out my latest book, Loving the Game. It's a 220 page compilation of my best mental game blog posts, articles and commentaries since 2008. It makes a great gift for parent, coach or athlete! Only $19.97!

Follow John Kelly's daily "Sports Mental Minute" on Facebook or Twitter.

 Watch John Kelly explain how to skyrocket your athlete's game day performance HERE.

Visit us on Facebook!

Follow @KellyEdge